Violations and Horoscopes

music: Cirque De Soleiel
mood: blurring the line of reality...

Today’s horoscope: A mysterious stranger is about to make an appearance -- someone who'll be extremely attractive to you, for one reason or another. Since your curiosity, and your interest, will quite naturally be aroused, you should expect to spend some time getting to know them.

And yet, I think the events that follow, are probably NOT what the stars were hinting at. Oh the wicked ways of Karma. Having escaped the expense of a phone transplant, I see the money gremlins weren’t about to give up, particularly around the holidays where I have the hardest time being good about spending. Driving late to work this morning, I drive down my least favorite road, Alum Rock, rather impressed at the lack of idiots that plagued the streets, particularly for a wet and rainy morning. I am calm and relieved, thinking about my dream I had last night about being in Greece and sticking my toes in water where “blue sharks” were known to be about. I was testing them in a way and when one came up and gentle held my toes in his mouth, I knew I had “tamed the savage beast” I somehow proved to everyone there that these sharks were not as mean and vicious as rumor had made them out to be. I was shark whisperer. A good water dream recolection spoiled though, abrutly.

Suddenly it wasn’t raining physically otside, it was pouring metaphysically inside. Enter Apollo. 6 foot 2 inch tall, tan, blonde and square jawed Apollo, oh so cleverly disguised as a San Jose Police Officer. The uniform suits you mighty sun god. He is standing in the middle of the road, and is very casually signaling for me to go around. Or so I think. I’m very confused since I don’t see a cone, or lights, or an accident, and I don’t see a reason to go around. Then he says pull over and I literally think, maybe my tire is low, or a light is out or something, and then it dawns on me he is pulling me over. ME! Only I’ve never seen a cop just standing in the middle of the street, pulling people over. He could get hit. I’m totally confused, that and he’s hot and with something like a Jedi mind trick, I am rendered speechless. I unzip my window. Yes, unzip, which is so cruel in so many ways. Not only do people take you less seriously (like you can’t afford real windows) but that sound, is just NOT what you want to hear with an exceptionally looking man in front of you. Well, not one that’s going to fine you anyway. (This beats the embarrassment of a cute cop pulling me over a few years ago while I had 4 DVD’s and food to go in the front seat and he smirks and says, “planning a big night” to which I try to deflect some of the embarrassment with, “oh I’m just returning them for my parents, “ Doh!)

Do you know why I pulled you over? Admittedly at first I wasn’t sure, but being bright and having had sleep last night, I snapped to attention and using my amazing Sherlock Holmes skills of deduction I quipped, “I imagine it was for speeding, but I don’t believe I was." DO you know what the speed limit is? Now I thought it was 35, but being smart I figured, he wouldn’t pull me over for going 8 miles over the speed limit particularly because I was going the speed of traffic, so the limit must be 25. I over think. Being smart is being stupid. Would I rather be stupid or delinquent? I chose delinquent. 25 I say? Yeah, and he says a little fast particularly with the weather. I give him my license. He does not ask for insurance or registration. I think maybe I get a break. I think again. Do you have any questions he says as he hands me my ticket. The man was effiecint, I have to give him that. And for a SPLIT second, just a SPLIT second, I pause and look at him. A billion questions enter my mind, each one more smart ass then that last. ( Do you need a hug? Can I see your gun? Is this for me? I don't suppoose we could talk about this? Who is she?...so many questions...) I smile. No, I say. He’s cold. I don’t blame him. If I had to stand out in the weather and give tickets to people particularly those that don’t REALLY deserve it, I might distance myself a bit too. He may as well pushed me out of bed. Not mean, almost no emotion behind those eyes. And once I find out that this is going to be no small fine, the panic sets in. No Christmas tree for me this year. No presents for people. The budget has been eliminated in one foul swoop.

And I ponder karma, and think what does it all mean. Should I contest? Should I accept my fate? Should I MAKE my own destiny? A flash forward….the Court papers reveal the following conversation….

Judge: Now hearing case 3162.5, San Jose Police Department vs Susannah Greenwood. Is Officer Apollo present?
Apollo: I am.
Judge: And is Miss Greenwood present.
Susannah: Yes, and thank you for acknowledging that it is indeed MISS Greenwood. (Indicates no ring)
Judge: You were speeding Miss Greenwood. How do you plead?
Susannah: Usually on my knees and very effectively.
Judge: You know what I mean. Why are you here?
Susannah: To seek justice.
Judge: Come again?
Susannah: That's what she said.
Judge: what?
Susannah: I said because my horoscope said to contest this ticket.
Judge: You are treading on thin ice already miss Greenwood. 43 in a 25 zone.
Susannah: I'mhere because I concluded it was completely inappropriate to ask the marital status of the present officer at the time the ticket was issued.
Judge: You figured right.
Susannah: Furthermore I judged it completely inappropriate to ask the issuing officer, officer Apollo is it, out on a date for fear that he would think I was souly trying to get out of the ticket, and because I am a totally wuss when it comes to agressing usually.
Judge: Would you have been?
Susannah: Been what?
Judge: Trying to get out of the ticket, or did you feel genuine attraction toward the officer in question.
Apollo: Uh, I object, what does this have to do with the event in question.
Judge & Susannah: It has everything to do with it.
Judge: Answer the question.
Susannah: Uh, he's pretty hot your honor.I would catogorize it more as lust, without the proper knowledge of his true personality.
Judge: Would the request to say, have dinner with officer Apollo been initiated to release yourself from the burden of ticket or to pursue a mutual potential relationship?
Susannah: Well, I don’t know about mutual, I mean reading the signs here, he did give me the ticket, clearly he wasn’t so smitten with me that he was chivalrous enough to pretend like the radar gun malfunctioned, he didn’t deem me cute enough to let me off on a warning, or even give me an out did he?
Judge: You do realize it doesn’t work that way.
Susannah: I argue it has in the past.
Judge: Precedence has been sited. Please let the record show, Miss Greenwood is a slut.
Susannah: WHAT!? I never said that.
Judge: Yes you did. Please read back the record.
Court Recorder: I argue it has in the past...
Susannah: Move to strike that from the record so I don’t look like a bigger idiot in front of the hot cop.
Judge: Motion denied. Too late.
Susannah: Damn
Judge: I beg your pardon there will be no swearing in my court.
Susannah: Sorry.
Judge: Miss Greenwood if you would hurry this along, I have some really important cases to look at, I am not a dating service.
Susannah: Certainly your honor. Right. Well, Normally I’m a good driver, (Exhibit A, my blogs about lame drivers from the last year) and a good Samaritan, I even put a felon away for good in jury duty a few months back, and I’m usually a good arguer, but I feel I was unprepared to deal with such a good looking cop.
Judge: He can hardly help that miss greenwood, any more than you can help being so smoking yourself.
Susannah: I’m sorry what did you say your honor?
Judge: I said, he can hardly help being so good looking any more than you can
Apollo: See I’m not the only one. If I may your honor..
Judge: Proceed.
Apollo: I didn’t WANT to give you the ticket. That was the LAST thing on my mind when I saw your flaming red hair, and your happy yellow jeep filled to the brim with stuffed animals. And your bumper stickers, clever, sassy, passionate, humorous….everything I wanted in a woman. But, I was so struck by your.. your.
Judge: Smoking bod..
Susannah: Don’t push it.
Apollo: your….personality.
Susannah: are you saying I’m fat?
Apollo: Never…so taken by your presence.
Susannah: That totally sounds like you are saying I’m fat.
Judge: Get over it.
Apollo: So taken in and overwhelmed by your aura of goodness, and honesty, well, I clamed up and just gave you the ticket. Can you ever forgive me?
Judge: I might not be able to. I think I'm going to vomit. Are we done?
Apollo: No, we're jsut getting started. Marry me.
Susannah: This may have just gotten weird.
Judge: Just?
Apollo: Marry me. I mean it.
Susannah: For reals? Uh…can we do dinner and a movie first maybe?
Apollo: You’re the Demi Moore to my Ashton Kutcher.
Judge: Maybe you shouldn’t talk any more officer.
Susannah: Can we have a dog?
Apollo: I have two already but sure!
Susannah: Do you bring your work home with you?
Apollo: Only the handcuffs.
Susannah: Well then…why not.
Apollo: Super
Judge: Do you?
Susannah: I suppose so, in a meg ryan movie sort of way.
Judge: Do You?
Apollo: You bet.
Judge: By the power invested in me, done. Congratulations, as her husband, in the state of California all things being equal, you can pay half her fine. Now get your ass out of my court.
Susannah: Right, see you after work then?
Apollo: You bet your sweet ass I will.

And…..Scene…..
cool eh?
princess on 11.29.05 @ 02:24 PM PST [link]

Saturday, November 26th

Holiday Muisc alternatives and General Mayhem

music: KAZAA mix
mood: Chilly

The office is cold today. I'm here just to do some reporting and catchup between working boxoffice for RTE shows. The lack of heat alone should persuade me from coming in here, but no.
So in an effort to give you some great holiday music alternatives ( no doubt it now haunts you wherever you go) I've jotted down a few of my favorites currently...

Music: Best song EVER on the radio, The Killers “All these things that I’ve done” With lyrics like, I got soul but I’m not a soldier” This song is somewhat like bohemian rhapsody in that is has tons of different sounds and speeds going on inside of it. Rock, ballad, Scottish, blues….just fantastic. Tap your toes and sing along….the boys are cute and have the it factor!!!

Weezer has done it again with such a catchy song that speaks to all us losers in love. “Perfect Situation” harkens back to old school weezer and I double dog dare you to not have it stuck in your head for a week.

O.A.R also has a great one out called “Love and memories”. It’s bound to be on the karaoke circuit soon. They may end up being one of my favorite up and coming groups. EXCELLENT driving music, a little rock, a little ska, a little reggae, and a smidge or blues thrown in there. Their very funny song, program director is very funny! You can listen to it all on their site.

American Edit. This site, is phenomenal. The entire Greenday American Idiot Album Remixed and mashed with Eagles, Queen, George Bush…amazing…give it a spin. My newest discover is the sixx mix on Live 105. 30 minutes of great dj mixed sets with themes sometimes, and other times just cool mashed up stuff. I really think this is brilliant; making two or more songs go together is such an art.

On the other hand, I have to say I’m pretty perturbed at Madonna’s ABBA sample song. Why would you do that? She failed to make something fresh and fun anything but a rip off. At least AlanisMorrisette just did a cover of Seals song Crazy (a great version I might add) without just stealing bit of it for the sake of being able to have a song played in the clubs. So, there you go, some tunes for your spirit.

Had a very pleasant roommate pre thanksgiving dinner Tuesday night which constituted of stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls, WINE and Roast chicken AKA mini turkey. Conversation topics we avoided all together were Religion, Politics, and toothless Creole women. There was no room for Pumpkin pie, and yet, somehow Justin and I couldn't resist when the whipcream option was presented. As if by magic, the dessert compartment was suddenly empty.

Wednesday was supposed to be a holiday for me, a bleated Veteran’s day. But I never learn. I dropped off Scott (S Dawg) at the airport at 7am and went in to just get some reporting info and got sucked into 5 solid hours of customer service for the ticketing. Jeff called at 2 after I had made it home to eat and was working on licensee site bugs as well…we concluded we must have to leave the country or quit our jobs to be able to take a REAL vacation. I took calls on my jesus cell until nearly 8pm. Oh well. At least I like what I do.

Thursday I grabbed my friend Michael over to the parent’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. Lots of pinot noir and champagne accompanied foot ball and food, the most impressive of which was a pumpkin pecan cheesecake. YUUUUMMMYY. Go Mom. Two thumbs up. Conversation included animal intelligence, job searches, teaching experiences, and Harry Potter.

Sightings: An odd vision. When grabbing some wine (and a bottle of tawny port I can’t wait to sample after a hot tub soak and sunset.) I witnessed a small Chinese boy, maybe 10 years old behind the counter, in his blue superman pajamas, watching a batman cartoon on a flat screen by the register. Presumably his mother was working the counter. Glad he could be with the family on Thanksgiving, but it did strike me an odd environment perhaps for a holiday, though in hindsight, I suppose that’s where I was for at least 10 minutes of the holiday…..who am I to judge. Would have taken a picture.

Congrats to Abby and Cesar and their new little girl Olivia. Goodbye to Mr. Miyagi, Pat Morita who waxed off for the final time this past week. Welcome, the ipod who I shall call Petrucchio in keeping with naming important electric appliances with Shakespearean names. I got him Ebay, grabbed it for a huge discount and will let you know how it works out. Got my tickets to see Harry Potter on the Imax next Saturday and the party season has begun…I have an event every Friday and Saturday from now until the New Year. No plans on New Years Proper yet, but we will see what materializes..

Until then…..

princess on 11.26.05 @ 05:48 PM PST [link]

Monday, November 21st

Resolution

music: New Age Sirius Dish NEtwork Music
mood: Serene and content, with a light pensive bouquet.

Well it's that time of year again. Almost Thanksgiving and if you pay attention to department store music and displays, almost christmas. That consequently makes it almost 2006. I've always been a bit of a late bloomer (duh) and perhaps in need of huge deadlines to accomplish all the great things in my life, and I certainly appreciate efficiency unless we are talking about a boyfriend, and then perhaps efficiency isn't the word I'd apply to my preferences. And so, in the interest of efficiency, a list of new years resolutions to cram into the busy month of December which waits at the doorstep.

10 Things I like about me doing in December...

1) Finish my 3 plays that I have in the works. This is ambitious, but Horatio the laptop has been a dear and I have a nice cozy carpet and coffee table to work in by a fire and I wager, I gotta get these things at least drafted as there is greatness to be gaind not only from having these words brought to life, bu by having that extra space in my brain and less anxiety for them being done. All of them by the end of the year.

2) Visit the beach. It's been months. I need that salt and sand. I've been land locked for way too long, and though I've spent many a night (and uh morning) in a hot tub, I need to feel small, I need to be reminded of the ocean that's out there. I need to walk along the shore and heal.

3) One can't be fanatical about anything, and I am not one for exercise, but I wager it couldn't kill me to be stereotypical and resolve to do one active thing before the end of the year. A hike, or a bike ride would suit me I wager, nothing drastic like going to the gym or anything retarded like that. Maybe I can combine # 3 with #2 and jog for 60 seconds while on the beach. Endorphins awake! Insert pat on back. And scene. I could use some motivation here kids...

4) Be wined and dined without initiating. This one is up to the gods. I want an invitation and the plans made for me. I don't want to think, or lift a finger (unless I want to) I want, for a good 3+ hour period to be spoiled. I deserve it. It's been a long time, maybe never, and a girl likes to be impressed every now and then. Sweep away. I may be picky but I am also mostly reasonable, its not that hard to please me, really, direct line to my stomach dudes.

5) I want to finish completely unpacking. I 've had a few things in my room and in the garage that are still "temporary", one less thing to pack should I need to run. I need to resolve to be stationary at least for another 6 months, in which case, I need to feel grounded ( I almost wrote rooted, and that's an entirely diffferent matter) I need to be completely at ease with my surroundings. I think its now or never. I think it's fish or cut bait. If I can unpack, I can truley relax. And with that comes a world of goodness.

6) I want to do something for charity. I've already given blood 3 times this year, and donated food to our food drive at work, but I would like to do something else. Maybe Apheresis (donate white blood cells for cancer patients) or visit a hosipital with some toys for kids, or serve at a soup kitchen. I really would like to make a contribution outside my normal giving.

7) Bake a meal I have never made before. Funny how so far I've mentioned food like 3 times yes (Wined and dined, soup kitchen, food drive and now...) Ah, food. I've not stepped out of my culinary box this year and I have a functional kitchen and mostly willing roommates to partake of the feast. Cooking is a great therapuetic joy. It too is healing, and creative and rewarding ( if all doesn't end in disaster). Even if I can't manage a whole meal, maybe a least one dish that I've never made, one I have to at least look at a recipie for even if I don't choose to follow it. ( Measuring is for wusses) And if someone else does the dishes...heaven..

8) I forgot what 8 was for...

9) Get into contact with at least one person I have lost contact with. Major candidates include Amanda Walker who I was at the oregon shakespeare seminar for seniors with in 1992 and lost contact with her after she graduated from cambridge and got stage comabat certified at some rediculously advanced level, Dana Mason, who was my princess in crime and the best penpal ever from 1989 until about 1997 when I lost touch with her, Anne Mathews (daughter of Actor Dakin Mathews) who I ALWAYS wondered if she made it as a writer and actress ever since I met her in 8th grade, Steven Richards, who I had the worlds biggest crush on in 8th grade (spikey blonde hair and a black trenchcoat) and who I TOTALLY blew it with when confronted if I had a crush on him and like a total GIRL I said, NO and never even remember seeing him again after that, and Cipriana Williams who left a phone message for me on my cell last new years eve, so I think it's my turn, or Billy Shields, who moved to Florida least year from the Virgin Islands and essentially may have been hurricane fodder for all I know, oh or Toni and Lori my adopted travel grand parents that I met in Peru. Point being, for all the people I do keep up with, there is and equal and oppsite number of people who somehow fall off the radar, and I still think about them,and want to know how they are doing. Nothing more exciting then getting a postcard or an email if not a phone call or a visit from someone I miss to connect past with present and future. SOme people you don't outgrow, you just somehow outgrow communicating.

10) Forgive. This is a big one. The ultimate dichotomy of my personality. I am a very forgiving person, but my high standards, pride and sense of justice are strong and in a way they have been wounded, and I need just like my home, to feel at peace with not being able to be in control of everything that has happened and not be angry or guiltly about any of it. I know people spend years and lifetimes in therapy on this, and I know that what has happened has been nothing compared to what so many people endure, but when things shake you off your base, threaten to change you fundamentally, and you aren't happy with it, you have to resolve to repair completely. There is no half way and sometimes ther eisn't a clear or even cloudy explaination for what happens in life, maybe most of the time, though that hasn't felt like the case until recently. I never want to feel some of the nasties I have felt again, so reconcile I must. Inexplicable for such hypocritical feelings to exisit, and doubly so for a nice person as myself, and an intelligent person who could know better. I was once told in a rather cliche but admittedly so way, that TIME was the determining factor in healing and forgiving. I know this to be true. Times up. Now to practice and succeed finally and forever. Bygones. New year. New atitude. New programing.

I figure the chances are greater as the goals are fresher in my mind to complete this list in the next month rather than procrastinate. A tall order but even if I can check off only a few, I wager I can continue to improve my mood and ultimately myself. And what better ambition is there than to improve you and by doing so the world around you.
princess on 11.21.05 @ 11:32 PM PST [link]

Friday, November 18th

Hello? Hello....HELLO....oh no...

music: Classical radio
mood: I got better....

I've been in the nesting and clumsy mode for the last few days, and I alwasy find it amusing ( though admittedly perhaps a bit more so after the fact) that I am clearly a different type of person under these "chemical" changes and yet, more specifically I am more like myself, just magnified. I think I probably channel my "feminiity" for lack of a better word, better than most. I don't get too weepy or bitchy for the most part, usually I just clean, sleep, need a hug or a good movie and then I'm done once the uterine wall finishes doing its thing. This week was the first in many I have been in a home when my all (male) household was present to experience the domestic zone. Yes, there was cooking, cleaning, candles, a fire in the fireplace, and most of a bottle of wine over the course of a manic 6 hours Monday evening. They didn't know what to do with me (other then offer for me to clean their rooms) and I don't exactly blame them. When seen dangling precariously on the kitchen counter, mastering circus balancing acts that can only successfuly be managed with a level 3 savings roll on dexterity, rearranging the spice cabinet for no real logical explaination I think the reaction of pseudo fear is certainly acceptable. There were exchanges of looks between the boys and a phsyical step back from the kitchen. Bewilderment followed and then the undeniable look of, proceed with caution was certainly present and appropriate. All this to say I was in the productive zone, the domestic zone and unfortuately the retarded zone. Glasses break usually around this time of month (or six weeks, but you probably don't need that detail) as I get a tad absent minded and bodyaware challenged. This time the "whoops" was more of an oh my god moment. I had to fire myself. I was fired. Totally. Like, in a major way. I escorted myself out of the building.

Picture me zooming about being cinderella and deciding to praise myself for actually getting a load of laundry in the machine. Not just a stack of sorted clothes on my floor, but IN the laundry room and actually washing as in going around and around and around. Then imagine my abosolute horror when I take my clean laundry OUT of the machine, and what should drop out of the soggy pile but....my cell phone. doh! Suddenly that last ditch thought to throw the sweatshirt that was around my waist in the machine at the last minute was seeming like a very very very bad move. Now, I know what you are thinking, I burst into tears, I just spent way too much money on a laptop, so I can blog at length and now cingular is going to rip me a new one caus eI was a numbskull and didn't check my pockets before throwing sweatshirt to the wind...I mean clean. The horrific flash of numbers and ringtones stored on the phone and not the sim card...vanishing before my eyes. Well you will be happy to know there were no tears. There was however lots of, no way, no. Na-uh, no way, please say I am not that lame. Oh no.I'm that lame. Great. LAAAAAMMEEE. I made up a song in my head about it. So what to do. Don't panic, and stop deriding yourself. Think, what would motorola do. Jimmy ( Jwong) to the rescue. DON'T turn it on. Only problem was, I'm sure it was on in my pocket so I image the fact that it wasn't on now, pretty much indicated I was fucked, and not in a good way. Cut to Susannah looking longingly and apologetically at the droplets of moisture inside my phone. So the battery came out and it went on my nightstand and it sat overnight naked and wet from the inside. Poor phone, like I haven't dropped you enough times for you to be totally whack in the first place. Meanwhile I have stepped up my offering to the cellphone gods and sworn off ever doing laundry again if my phone will just magically work in the morning.

And yes virginia there is a santa claus or a cellphone god because oh yeah...the power button reserrected my jesus phone. You better stand upwind of me, cause I'm never doing laundry again. I am prepared to accept that this choice will certainly make it difficult to find a quality date,I imagine, but at least if he doesn't like the way my clothes smell, he can call me becuase lo and behold, Houston we have cellphone. Praise allah. The back light leaves much to be desires, a bit dim, I think it's an analogy, but it is functional. Just like me. My fish screen saver on it makes me laugh as it almost looks as though the tank is overdue for a clean. I could literally hear the glub glub when it first booted up, too pathetic. Sad. I haven't much hope it will last too long, but hopefully it won't use up its other 9 lives before I am elidgable for an upgrade next September. I can just see the gods now.

Oh what a absolute retard
Yeah that's gonna hurt...wait for it, wait for it... aaaaaannnnndddd...now.
They laugh hysterically. Nice one human.
It was worth the lame song, let's throw her a bone. She coud use one of those surely.
Alright, and *poof* working phone as they wipe the tears of laughter from thier eyes...if gods have eyes...and I think they do, cause I bet gods have REALLY nice eyes...don't ask.

And so the loser of the week, sadly, would be me. And the winner of the week, thankfully a solid tie for motorola who makes a kickass Susannah proof phone, and the phone gods. Two hour nap for me and then more writing...home stretch...Have a great weekend...CALL ME
princess on 11.18.05 @ 10:28 PM PST [link]

Tuesday, November 15th

Persimmions and the new baby

music: None
mood: Confident....for now at least

It was a large purchase. A bit more than I was gearing for ultimately but time is money and 6 weeks of backorder for the cheapo, was getting on my last nerve. Horatio was Hamlets best friend and for a long time I've wanted a kitten to name that, but since there will be no kitty (I borrow my landlords cute black kitty for a fur fix sometimes and Cuan on occasion for the big fur fix) there will be Horatio the laptop. He shall be more depnedable than a boyfriend, infuriateing me far less I expect, cleaner than a pet and he can go wherever I go. He's pretty sexy, all he needs is a case, an mp3 player and a digital camera to go with him (next year) and I will be my own virtual (and literal) portable media rockstar princess. I watched a DVD in my room last night ( no need for a tv) and worked from home for the first time since I've worked at artsopolis. I'm proud of the purchase. We get along just great. I am now real time...now if I can just get real.

A few weeks ago I met a neighbor who is from Brazil. She's a perky woman and has an affinity for Persimmions. We chatted about practicing our language skills once a week and she said in exchange for English lessons and persimmions from the tree in the front yard, she would cook brazillian food and teach me portuguese. She's just eh sweetest, so energetic and full of life. Sh'es not the bronze beach babe I kind of expect all brazillians to be, but if I can learn the language and make a new friend...I don't see how that can hurt. WE have our first meeting next wednesday when the persimmions may be more ripe or as she says more riper.

Other kick ass things....oh...yeah...it's AQUAMAN!!! Yummy swimmer boy....

And though a loud and blustery night of howling wind on my hill, the morning has proved to be amazing. I live in paradise. The whole week is expected to be a hookey week, and yet, I have more work this week then I think I can even face...but check it out...where else???

enjoy it while it lasts, envy it while you can....we are due for the big earthquake this week I imagine...=]

princess on 11.15.05 @ 01:12 PM PST [link]

Thursday, November 10th

Passion, bad arithmatic and vacations

music: Luscious Jackson, Rent, Vertical Horizon, Coldplay, Braveheart
mood: Is it Friday yet..wait...that doesn't mean anything..

Was on the verge of tears today as I sift through a time consuming ticketing program. Layers upon layers of what is essentially programming in a language that is vague at best. Not user friendly, not consistent and though ultimately rewarding when I do get something to workout right I can think of better ways of spending my time. I will get it though, I have no choice. I made it through sports, theatre and school with about as much talent and brains as the average person, just more stubborn determination. Well actually that’s a big fat fib. I’m smarter than the average bear, and more prideful of my intelligence, but I suppose I still made that extra leap with my “spirit”. Anyway, I’m swimming in a moat that isn’t mine or is it a forte that isn’t mine? No matter. The shoulders are starting to creep up a bit…If anyone knows a hot (hell, semi hot) masseuse who works pro bono and will come to my house, please. let me know. Back rub would begin I think to make it all go away. Or gnocchi. Good gnocchi might do it as well.

In an effort to not stay over 10 hours at work last night I treated myself to the new Zorro movie. At one point I was thinking about staying late and finishing up and so I actually bought the ticket online at 6:30 for a 7:30 showing so as to force myself to go. The Lounge has my after hours access card on ransom as well so I can’t be tempted to come back late. I was pleasantly surprised, and please I motivated. Great flick. Exactly what it ought to be. Best stunts I have seen since Cut Throat Island. Didn’t take itself too seriously, had possibly the cutest kid in it ever made even funnier because he was just a SPITFIRE) and had a veritable plethora of great one liners. Nothing too deep, but very identifiable with the whole Venus and mars thing going on between our two leads. One word for the movie, passionate. In everything it did, it was passionate. Nothing was done half way ( except for a single special effects scene which they clearly ran out f money for) I totally ignored the fact that it was in its own way VERY patriotic and certainly was a not so hidden commentary on the present state of America, but easily ignored as I said. Good guys, bad guys, hot guy, and a horse. Every time I see a movie with a horse, I want to go horseback riding. Westerns and adventure flicks with horses just KILL me, the feeling of galloping on a horse just cannot be duplicated and you can gallop so few places these days. This movie was complete with passionate jealous drunken dancing scene which I loved (you never want someone to fight for you for real, but every now and then there is something primally validating about someone wanting to possess you. Barbaric I know but instinctive. And I movie, yes I know, it was Catherine Zeta Jones, not me…I do get confused from time to time. So I really liked this movie. I’d even say it might be better than the first. So A solid 4 ½ Rutgers/Rockwell’s. And a 5 out of 5 Better than Ezras for the score….Spanish music makes is warmer I think. Certain chords and tones actually make one sweat. Or maybe it was Antonio.

I was reading some article about some celebrity filing for a divorce and it said irreconcilable differences, I however read incorrigible differences, which I think, is probably what most people think when they file. I certainly can relate. It’s a very huffy word, incorrigible. I should make a point to use it more. It goes well with my hair I think. And my pout. You’re incorrigible! How incorrigible! Huff, huff. Next time I’m in a mood I must remember to use it.

Had a conversation today about needing extra hours in the day, and came to the conclusion if I could just have a secret extra day that I could insert ( just for me) every now and then I think that would be corrigible (opposite of incorrigible right?) I would call it timesday or susday. This would be good. I’m having my people and other people work on this. When I suddenly seem more relaxed and have my stuff together, you’ll know I have succeeded.

Speaking of getting my stuff together, as I munch on my jaffas here I realize I’m starting to get that itch in a serious way. You know THAT one, where I seek adventure (might have been further dislodged by Zorro), where I need a little rejuvenation, a little physical detachment from my environment. It’s been over two years since I have gone anywhere for me and it has been 4 years since I went on a vacation that I was in complete control of as far as where I went and what I saw….it’s time. No family, wedding, friend or tour this time. I think unless Antonio Bandaras offers an escort, I’m looking at getting out of dodge by myself here. April, after my brothers wedding and taxes (two very opposite milestones) I’m looking at an adventure/writing retreat. Maybe a cattle drive, maybe I’ll hit Hawaii or a Portuguese fishing village….I want to be a stranger every now and then. There’s mystery in that. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. My reward will have to wait until then though…I bought some bargain clothing for my immediate gratification to reward myself for all the work I’ve done. Next time you see me compliment my skirts and pants and sweaters, I don’t know why but when you get new clothes you can never wait to where them and then you never stop wearing them…chances are my clothes are new…

I’m in scatter mode to be sure, wish you could see what sort of chaos even me writing this blog is. I haven’t finished a single sentence…sound bytes…bits….thoughts, jumping around like a fish out of water, coming back to clean and edit, or not… spot the unfinished sentence and win a prize…

My dreams are really ramping up to anxiety mode here. With little physical outlet ( I know, I know, but please, don’t even, unless you’re going to walk, run, play sport WITH me, and make it social, exercise is not happening before work or after shows.) I’ve dreamt about arguments, sisters with cancer, divorce and all sorts of nasties. Its’ not keeping me awake, but it certainly must be keeping my heart rate up….thus another reason to vacate…soon…

Here's something that blew my mind...babies!!!

Loser of the week: Though I sympathize to an extent, since it must have something to do with numbers, math and counting, the parking garage is always WAY off on the number of spots left. It has a nice new scrolling sign that displays the number of free spots (open not as in free no money) but there are always at least 3 times the amount of spots free ( god it’s not the other way around) then is advertised. I think the discrepancy has to do with the fact that after 6pm it becomes a free lot and at some point about 10pm the gate to leave is left open and those that are in, aren’t counted as going out. I don’t know, I don’t lose sleep, but it is sort of pointless, and we know how much I like there to b a point to things. Essentially they have spent a bunch of money to make a sign that doesn’t work. Might as well have been spent creating a dead end. About as useful. Maybe even less.

Closing weekend of Marsha, and very last chance to see me in a comedy for at least 6 months. All has been lovely, save the fuck up of all fuckup shows last Sunday. We never had a really bad rehearsal or show so it was bound to happen and once the first person messed up it was a horrific train wreck and avalanche all wrapped into 100 minutes of sporadic hilarity. All sorts of struggling with lines and focus for no apparent reason. I personally was responsible for skipping oh a good ½ a page at least and was unsuccessful despite trying to recover those lost words. I was tied up on a couch though at the time so my mind is bound to wander in moments of vulnerability/mini scandal. Must have gotten too much sleep.. I think I made it to bed by about 2:30 or 3am and slept well on Saturday night/Sunday morning. No matter, the audience still loved it. Our cheeks hurt from smiling and saying thank you to the patrons as they leave the theatre. The receiving line is our least favorite part, but essential at this theatre. I had a 80 year old man say he like the show, and then as a no filter side comment after thought, he said, I like ALL your proportions. I figure if you get to be his age, he either has earned the right to say those sorts of things, or he has no idea WHAT he is saying. Either way, he got a smile and a thank you for sure. Sweet old Perv. I know a few people who are wasting no time in getting to that stage of prerogative. Old and creepy before their time, no names.

Well, it's showtime...

Be good to each other people...

princess on 11.10.05 @ 06:39 PM PST [link]

Saturday, November 5th

Rants, Rings and Reviews

music: Rent
mood: Jazzed

Rant of the week: Since I don’t seem to want to read the headlines that concern my country most directly, I have within the last several months signed up for “yahoo alerts” on my phone. The intent is to have a text message sent to my phone for really cutting edge, up to the minute top news stories. So far, I’m unimpressed. I have been woken up by political crap at 5 in the morning. You know what. Send me a text if they find a new pyramid, send me text if my neighborhood is on fire, let me know when gas prices will be reasonable, but don’t tell me that there will be a press conference in 30 minutes to announce the nomination for Supreme Court Judge…and THEN send me another one 30 minutes later to tell me the name of the person. The Quake in Pakistan…didn’t even make it…Riots in Argentina…nope…Hi I’m American can you tell, what other country? I wonder who is making the choice, who is hitting the go button on these. They need to get out more. Yet another job I HAVE to secure once I am overlord. Jeesh. Here is something I would RATHER know about. How about the fact that Vanilla coke is being phased out in the US by the end of the year.This is tragic. Text me about this Yahoo!. I wouldn’t mind being woken up at 5am for this. I would have been pissed if they phased it out and I never knew they were going to. Don’t ask how I found out a bout it. My breakfast of champions will have to be altered. I’m starting a VC fund so I can stockpile. Those cans are going to be worth a fortune. Ebay baby!

In other news, the Review is in, not stellar, but decent, particularly for a cozy paper covering a small community paper.. Parents and Brother and Espe came last night an liked it.

I had a great 2 hour conversation with my housemates the other night. The boys are gelling and I think it’s almost a home. Almost. And other shoe….drop. Always braced for that one, don’t get too comfy. We push lots of buttons and tease a ton which is good. In honor of Jimmy Wong (AKA J WONG) who is of Chinese decent but has found his inner gangster, we have given each other Hip hop urban youth names. I am hereby known as Sueschizzle. Damn. That’s whack. Yeah I said it, what you gonna do about it nigga. Scott was dubbed S Dawg, and Justin has been branded Young G, ‘cause J was already taken and apparently there are rules about that. I love being retarded. Keep this all in mind while the conversation last night overheard in the game room was the following…

Jwong: Are you ready to get your ass kicked!
Young G: yeah, but hurry I’m tired. ( They walk over to the bar, when the lights are low, Jwong is wearing a robe)
Young G: Pick a hand
Jwong: whip is out.

And at this point Susannah, excuse me, Ssueschizzle is a bit weirded out and confused. And then she realized they are talking about chess. I love nerds. They then proceeded to incorrectly give ME crap about if I could function the DVD player correctly or if I needed help. I would like to point out that when I played chess last week with master Jwong, we stale mated. I think I can handle a VCR/DVD player.

And now for something completely different.

I’ve never been one for marriage to be honest. I mean one day, sure, under the right circumstance. I’m not against it at all. I think it’s great, but companionship is far more important then the party and the ring and the piece of paper. I’ve always gotten a kick out of watching the glow of my friends and sisters as they get engaged. Particularly the ring. This phenomenon occurs around my age I suppose and in many cases far younger than 30 where women all of a sudden need a ring. As if a ring makes everything right in the world. I have imposed since about age 12 the Rite Aid rule of jewelry. If it cost more than the stuff they sell at Rite Aid, it’s not being worn by me. Mostly because glitter is cheaper and so is my smile and those do about as much for me as expensive jewelry. I’m a crow to be sure, love the sparkle, but the price is $19.99 or under or it’s going to get lost, broken, stolen, or worse, I might get bored with it. Jewelry is fun; it does not hold any significant meaning to me other than dressing up the tomboy a bit. This being said, this play is the first time I have ever worn a wedding ring. This is a fairly sized fake diamond. And I love it. Maybe because it IS cheap. Don’t know. At first it was a really weird feeling having a ring on my wedding finger. Really weird. I felt like I was betraying a future husband or something. Okay , not that weird, but something in the vicinity of walking across someone’s lawn at night, didn’t feel totally right. But now I sometimes forget to take it off after shows. It’s my bling man. Maybe I have embraced my own inner gangster. Suffice to say, for whatever reason my stance on jewelry might MIGHT change. I hope not, but consider this a warning; apparently it’s not something I have any real control over.

And speaking of hands (I know a jump, I’ll wait while you make the connection between rings on my finger and hands) I had a fascinating revelation on Wednesday at my favorite Cuban local. Resident Celtic Mexican Kiki Kieran Chavez was not behind the bar but after blood donation I was feeling JAZZED and so I stopped by for a drink and talk with John ( You will remember him as disappointed man candle purchaser) until midnight. For some reason I get queasy when I give blood through my left arm but have NO problem with my right arm. Vein size, sensitivity, proximity to the heart, who knows, but for whatever reason I don’t give blood through my left. So an experiment at the bar, when both hands are touched the same place the same way and when asked do they feel the same, my immediate response, with out even thinking was no, my left hand feels a tone lower. And then for the first time I articulated what as a swimmer I had always felt but never put in words. Like a resonatation, that my whole body was actually PART of a whole, not just one, but that every nerve was alive and independent. Fascinating. Now all you music dudes are like, duh, just like singing and being at a concert you have sound resonate through you. Well I know that, but I guess I was more acute having just donated. So yeah, now I want to be touched. Does that sound wrong? I thought so. And speaking of being touched, I found my soul mate or soul food mate anyway… if you get a chance to read the october 19th editors article of the Wave magazine....It's about food, and I think I'm in love.

Saw Fever Pitch with young Colin Firth and he struck me as VERY much like fromer roommate Jamie. Bizarre at the simliar look. Very Bizarre. The movie capture the love of a Soccer ( football) fan and was in general kind of fun, but considering I THOUGHT I had gotten the film with Dre Berrymore about the RedSox...I was in a different zone. Still, 2 3/4 Rutgers/Rockwells.

Also Mangaged to see An Ideal husband with Jeremy Northam ( who was cute as always but had an annoying mustache) Cate Blanchette ( always devine) Julianne Moore ( Snore) Minne Driver (whatever) and Rupert Everett, cute but whatever. It was a very pretty movie, but the amount of times they said Mrs Chievly was almost absurd. It seemed like an excuse to get these actors in a movie together. No big pay off, a big confusing and not at all very exciting excpet for the divine clothing and jewlery and a few very nice houses/sets. Nothing wrong, but nothing too right either. 2 1/2 Rockwells/Rutgers.

And with that, I post, back to work (ticketing reports on a beautiful Saturday, for which I would be bitter if not for my window to see the day that I must hide from for a bit.

Have a great weekend…

princess on 11.05.05 @ 03:12 PM PST [link]

Tuesday, November 1st

Spooks of sorts

music: Rent
mood: spastically reflective

This is the first year in ages that I have not craved a pumpkin or put up decorations but I feel in the spirit today regardless. I threw together with very little thought a costume today for work. A trailer trash fairy god mother. Wifebeater with bra strap showing, stripper shoes, skirt and wand. Ron lent me a cigarette as prop (he was the Marlboro man). It was trashy. We had Frankenstein furters. All is good.

Another weekend of sold out shows (two more weeks to go!), and a reviewer even showed up. Unfortunate he arrived at the Sunday matinee where my cumulative sleep the previous night had been calculated to about 45 minutes on a couch with my contacts in. The annual Halloween party at the Lounge at 377 (Home to the Chris and Cuan) was full of brew, catching up with long lost pals and watching the sunrise from the hot tub. Despite VERY little to drink, the hours in the hot tub produced quite the headache and even the night after cure all happy meal could not be consumed. The show was still enjoyed, and ultimately went fine, but it required great concentration. The irony of my line "And of course avoiding late night whenever possible, a woman needs her beauty rest" almost had Darci and I cracking up on stage. I got through a movie (review later) and some VH1 until 10 before crashing last night.

Winner of the Week: Kyle Wood for graciously and spontaneously proving that gentlemen do in fact exist. After seeing my show (coming all the way from Santa Cruz) on Friday he insisted on escorting me to the Halloween party which was full of ghosts and goblins of my own making. It had the potential of being a disaster but Kyle who is the ultimate sport kept me focused on the positive, provided me a confidant when behavior got beyond ridiculous, and prevented me from judging too harshly and taking on the extra burden that no longer need be my self made responsibilities. He kept me laughing the whole time which as we know if the best medicine. I do not believe I would have succeeded in dealing with the past and made that steps toward the future without his perspective and presence. Thanks dude.

Loser of the Week: Fry's outpost. My new laptop is STILL on backorder. I say no more other than. You're fired.

Mona Lisa Smile: I thought I would hate this movie. I liked the clothes in the movie, I liked the hair styles. I like Art and I liked seeing Kristen Dunst playing a bitch (almost made up for Spiderman 2). So A sold 3 1/2 rutgers/rockwells for this. It had integrity and principles and was a good historic study of a none too distant past. 1953.

In the tradition of new and healing and purifiying and all that, I planted flowers on Saturday, and CLEANED my room. All who know my room will not recognize it with a floor. It impressed even me. As fall creeps in, the nights gets cooler, the air gets crisper, I strive for the clutter of the past few months, and few years to dilute, and eventually disappear, like the leaves on the trees. I'm learning to welcome change rather than resist. It’s a hard lesson to rationalize at times, but I think progress is just around the corner.

Have a good one folks...

princess on 11.01.05 @ 11:41 AM PST [link]

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