Vaccums, Getting out to push and Things the go bite in the night

music: KAZAA mix of mp3's
mood: Runaway

There are many things wrong with my life at present. Among them they are in no particular order. I saw the Cave which might have been the most horrendous movie of the year. 4 out of 5 Keanu’s. I have recently contracted Insanely Disgusting Dandruff (IDD) which I can't explain. I have hit a period of severe lack of focus. I'm sorry where was I? The days are getting shorter (boo hiss), which actually as I spend my long weekend just sitting at the Tapestry festival from 9qm-7pm all three days, I might enjoy the shorter days, if only they were actually shorter, and not just getting dark sooner). I tried for a bit of a Motorbike ride on the back of the WASP (Chris Tann's bike) but a drained battery resulted in less than a mile of transport on said bike, and half a dozen attempts in full gear to push the bike into submission. I should know better. The walk back in leather in 85 degree heat was not exactly what I had had in mind for a Sunday afternoon, full of heavy breaths and not in a good way. Some Black Adder Episodes helped only slightly.

I was struck by some type of food beastie that night too and not even Cuan's helpful attempts could make the dizzy and nausea stop enough for me to get a good nights rest. I spent it on a couch at the Lounge not feeling well enough to drive back. In retrospect I imagine it was a fair bit more restful then the midnight vacuuming that I endured last night from the new roommate moving in. I'm not sure what needed to be clean that late (granted I’m rocking up to the house about then usually) but it continued being clean this morning at 9:30 as I was debating if I should stay home from work and rest/heal instead. He's a benign but uninspiring replacement for the Irishman that is Robert 4. New roommate Jimmy is either going to be an awkward hermit, or a dope fiend and I've no effort left in me for the former and no interest or desire to befriend the latter. My goal is to survive in that house through the Holidays/New Year, and then my winning lotto ticket or SM (Soul Millionaire) will rescue me with my own rural cottage with a view.

Residual ick follows today, and I am reminded I am overdue not only to give blood (my iron was too LOW !!??? 2 weeks ago when I tried to donate) and for annual dr's visit. No hypochondriac though, I have been active and eating pretty well the last week or two (Lots of rare steak). I WALKED almost 2 miles to the liquor store and back and bought LIGHT beer on Saturday before I sat on my but, ate MORE steak and chatted most of the day with Robert 4, so my physical health is not being completely neglected. So what if the light beer was bought by complete accident, I say it was subliminal. I am health subconscious. I am finding myself though a bit more sensitive to the sun than I am usually, opting for the shade and always wearing my $6 blue faux snakeskin cowboy hat when riding around in the happy yellow jeep now that he is....topless. And all these things, lead me to an interesting conclusion...

I had a dream the other night and in this dream I happened to be making out with some guy. In the dream I was definitely kissing his neck. And that was about it. Sorry, get your naughty pleasures from some other site. When I woke up I went into the bathroom and I looked and I had a mark on my neck. Not a hickey exactly, nor a bite but like a small linear reddish blue bruise about 1/2 inch long directly on my vein. THEN I went to Santa Cruz (Where lost boys was filmed of course) that night and had totally lost my appetite. Could only eat 1/2 my funnel cake. So if I turn out to be a vampire, sorry. My Bad. I warned you at least.

And so when everything seems uphill, it's enough to make a girl want to run away. I looked at my passport today. It expires January 19th, 2006. What a sad, sad word. Expire. And I thought wow. And as I very often do I look at all the places I have escaped to over the last decade. I think how much I have learned and how much my life has changed in just 1/3 of my existence thus far. I have traveled to Italy alone, Peru, Mexico and Greece with life long friends, Cambodia, Thailand and Vietnam with a roommate, England, and Australia with a lover and to Turkey with my Brother. 5 continents and still I have not made it to the one place I wanted to get to most. Africa Eludes me still. I want, sun, animals, open space, weird looking trees, funny sounds at night and a mosquito netted tent please. coffee on the plain in the morning wouldn't be bad either. Too bad it's not the best place for Vampires. I wager it’s a bit warm. Well, I have family in England, maybe I will head off to the country side and moors and practice my new life. Or not.

Many irritants but the things that are right though are big, and certainly not taken for granted. A raise at work, though I did have to "fight" and present a case for it has finally come through and in the NICK of time, with more past and future friend wedding expenses and such. A package arrived from the former bride and now Mrs Barker containing cool mermaid cocktail decorations among other cool bits and pieces. No pictures yet but soon.

At the all important staff meeting today someone had THIS and I just about fell over. Sometimes you need to fall over. This wasn't one of these times, but it was close.

Off to see the Aristocrats and maybe sneak into "The Brothers Grimm". I'm still hurting after losing my money on The Cave, so I may treat myself to the double feature to avoid a depressed roommates self medicating birthday and the roommate who cleans at midnight. Hey if I am a vampire....my living situation just improved maybe....ooow has there been a movie about a vigilanti cop who is a vampire and instead of arresting him, he just kills them for blood? Nice.

Have a good one

princess on 08.30.05 @ 06:37 PM PST [link]

Tuesday, August 23rd

It’s no big deal, it’s no big thing.

music: Sarah McLaughlin
mood: Silent

The words “I know” never felt so true. So true and at the same time so heavy with doubt and with possibility. Could it really amount to no huge moment? My reassuring words of confirmation, of agreement, of encouraging betrayal, soft but crisp, “I know”. Hard to believe the rest of life doesn’t hang on these tiny decisions and confessions that would be left to never. Seduced by the truth and the significant simplicity of that uttered truth that cradled the fragile phrase hesitantly as it left me for eternity, whispered not once but twice, part of my soul clinging to each word it as it floated toward you. Laden with hope it drifts only momentarily, and finds a resting place on the floor, conveniently blocking my path to rest. Watching what could be distancing itself shyly, but none too inconspicuously from what will be. The thought of what was not being said lingering in the atmosphere, moved by easy breeze taunting from the window. The truth of the silence not spoken, greater than the sum of all conversation. Or perhaps the imagination of a girl searching for meaning in a world that has made little sense for far too long. A girl thankful for opportunity to prove something, if only to herself. The anticipation overwhelming. the edge far more precarious than predicted.

I walk around the balled up lie, careful not to release its crystal contents and crawl under the covers loving that there was music soothing the cracks of life, making it easier to breathe even when it was impossible to speak. Cool and spacious, submerged in quiet harmony, the surroundings comforting and the naturalness of it all mixed all too starkly with the strangeness of altered familiarity. The similarities and coicidences Banshees, the opposing distinctions droning out that magical frequency almost entirely. Almost. The whole phenomenon a deja vu of eerie proportions.

This is not where I thought I was. Restraint reigns, and reigns me in quickly, never resolving to give me a reason for such a reaction. It looks different from this perspective, from this point in view, it looks scarier from this moment in time than it used to, than I thought it would. But, it’s all new and there is the rub. This is no now that I know, still one fraction of a second behind the present. Not a complex concept really. NO experience aides me here. And the isolation creeps between notes. And then the music stops. I suppose I thought I was different. Priveledged. That it would be easy this time. No dice, and I roll again and again, over and over in my head, the haunting silence not even broken by heavy breaths. And I don’t dare speak for fear the house of bricks around you would crumble.

Melting. From the warmth of thoughts, of words, from the heat which can only intensify but wickedly chooses to stay constant and clandestine. A slow enduring burn. I lie awake listening for a sign, looing for a key. All night, nothing comes. No sign. No sleep. Nothingness, emptiness, replaces the certainty of “I know”. The night becomes a weight and a wait. The words can’t be found, not invented yet, non-existent and every moment that passes murders hope of clarity, bleeds spontaneity from my chest, and plants a seed of disappointment, watering it with the poingant irony of such naieve statements. My body is drained from being awake, and feels cheated for not having the strength to share more. Electric, queasy, adolescent. A sign and a smile escape.

And prophecy becomes reality. This becomes… no great moment. And at the same time, a stone on which to step rises from the lake. A truth. A truth not to question should history repeat itself. By not being anything, it becomes a sea of possibility. And I guess I knew all along. But the if sneaks in and does his damage to what should have been a conclusive nod.

We dwell in the realm of action and inaction, not right and wrong. Cleverly isolated but driven so much, too much, by the past and its refusal to reinvent itself entirely as the past. We drag our lives with us as family, we take prisoners physical and mental, we seek what we know even more than that which we do not. And souls are bonding quicker and deeper than either party can prepare for. Expectation bursts on to the scene, constantly on the verge of insisting great calamity. A collapse of conviction. Will the easiest thing in the world prove to be a risk requiring more bravery than either can take? Will the same truths continue to occur? Is our great moment gone? Can we break the crystal ball to discover the world beyond what is advised, logical, practical, and rational? And can we do it without the guilt of hypocracy as our lives continue to shift so tremendously? Can we make maybe make it a big deal, just this once, just this lifetime? Why not? I say it again, the words escaping. Why Not?

princess on 08.23.05 @ 01:41 PM PST [link]

Wednesday, August 17th

Big Picture.

music: 96.fm Perth's Best Music (and the best radio station ever)
mood: Double Blah

Dear people in charge of sizing.

who exactly do you think you are. You suck. You need a major clue. Seriously, what the hell is going on? No really, inquiring minds want to know. That means me.

I believe it is my inaliable right to be able to go into any store in the US and look at the sizing of an article of clothing and know aproximately if it should fit me. I don't need numbers (though that would be nice) I've given up on the idea that we can have specific sizing. Small, Medium and Large will do. Xtra large if you must. I have resigned to being "large" though there was a time when I would have taken issue with that lable. It's not an ego thing, its simply a reference. One place large is sufficient and in another I have no idea what planet you are on thinking that an article that will not fit most 13 year olds is "large". Assuming I am not in the kids or petite section of a store, I should only have to try something on before I buy it as a deciding factor of whether it looks and feels good, it should fit though if it says large.

Let's be honest. Although we see a lot of anorexic, model type, athletic gals under lets say 22 these days, it's not actually that way when you get out of school and PE, organized sports and dancing at clubs all night long isn't part of your daily life anymore. We could all look 22 at 30 if we did those sorts of activities. But you know what, I'm happy with large, what's in a name, DON'T make me go to the gym in order to maintain YOUR idea of large which seems to change every year. I'm my large, and I have stayed my large (170 lbs) give or take 5 pounds for the last 10 years with limited exercise or diet. I haven't changed, why have you? I have not "let myself go" so you can go jump in a lake sizing people.

I don't mind the word large. Though I don't think I am fat, I know I weigh more than I used to when I was swimming 10,000 yards a day, 7 days a week or walking 2-4 miles a day on campus, or running around teaching kids all day. I'm larger, but you don't even have a "larger" size that is consistant. The walk to lunch and to and from the parking lot (2 flights of stairs thank you very much), the 2 hours walking at the mall LOOKING for a store that has fair, realistic and predictable sizing is enough exercise for me. My relatively sedintary life suits me just fine and I would appreciate it if you left my sizing alone. I Comprende? It confuses a girl at the very least and it pisses a girl off at the worst....neither is reccomended practice. I'd buy a t-shirt with that on it, but I don't know what flippin size to buy.

Its not nice to mess with a girls head so let's say we all get on the same page okay? Let's make fun silly young and hip clothing for people of a not so large size but not so small either. oh and Fredericks of Hollywood, if you could just coordinate your sizing for your cute little corsetts that would be super, because to be honest I am not even going to bother to try on your lovely bits when the number doesn't seem to corespond to large, small, a bra size or even a shoe size. What does 40 mean? And looking at it and holding it up to your chest, not so helpful. Get with the program and you will sell a lot more.

But just so you sizing nazi's don't get to thinking you've gotten to my self esteem, just so you are sure I won't stop eating today or go for a run to get back to your large I will share the positive parts of my shopping experience. There is a happy ending. I purchased a belly button ring that says sexy bitch, a t-shirt that says I'll be nicer if you give me chocolate, (Medium) two majorly trendy but super cute skirts (both large, but both fit differently) that I didn't even TRY ON (take that you assholes) and two sweaters for my flipping freezing office one xtra large (the nerve) and one large. My earrings that I bought fit just perfectly without sizing and you know what, despite the horrendous and I do me ridiculously horendous hair day I am having, you can take your sizing and shove it, becuase I look just fine in clothes, which is a good thing, becuase thats what people see these days anyway.

...and now for something completely different.

THIS site, is messed up. interesting to be sure, but let's talk depressing much? the voice recording section is fascinating, morbid mind you, but fascinating.

Good day.

princess on 08.17.05 @ 02:51 PM PST [link]

Tuesday, August 16th

Crikey!

music: None
mood: Cold

Came across this article. I find it fascinating. The Crocodile is one of the oldest creatures still living and I guess it would make sense that they have this survival thing down pretty well...I can just see the extinction of this beast for blood cocktails being the next fiasco....tred lightly...

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Scientists in Australia's tropical north are collecting blood from crocodiles in the hope of developing a powerful antibiotic for humans, after tests showed that the reptile's immune system kills the HIV virus.

The crocodile's immune system is much more powerful than that of humans, preventing life-threatening infections after savage territorial fights which often leave the animals with gaping wounds and missing limbs. "They tear limbs off each other and despite the fact that they live in this environment with all these microbes, they heal up very rapidly and normally almost always without infection," said U.S. scientist Mark Merchant, who has been taking crocodile blood samples in the Northern Territory.

Initial studies of the crocodile immune system in 1998 found that several proteins (antibodies) in the reptile's blood killed bacteria that were resistant to penicillin, such as Staphylococcus aureus or golden staph, Australian scientist Adam Britton told Reuters on Tuesday. It was also a more powerful killer of the HIV virus than the human immune system.

"If you take a test tube of HIV and add crocodile serum it will have a greater effect than human serum. It can kill a much greater number of HIV viral organisms," Britton said from Darwin's Crocodylus Park, a tourism park and research center.

Britton said the crocodile immune system worked differently from the human system by directly attacking bacteria immediately an infection occurred in the body. "The crocodile has an immune system which attaches to bacteria and tears it apart and it explodes. It's like putting a gun to the head of the bacteria and pulling the trigger," he said.

For the past 10 days Britton and Merchant have been carefully collecting blood from wild and captive crocodiles, both saltwater and freshwater species. After capturing a crocodile and strapping its powerful jaws closed the scientists extract blood from a large vein behind the head.

"It's called a sinus, right behind the head, and it's very easy just to put a needle in the back of the neck and hit this sinus and then you can take a large volume of blood very simply," said Britton.

The scientists hope to collect enough crocodile blood to isolate the powerful antibodies and eventually develop an antibiotic for use by humans. "We may be able to have antibiotics that you take orally, potentially also antibiotics that you could run topically on wounds, say diabetic ulcer wounds; burn patients often have their skin infected and things like that," said Merchant.

However, the crocodile's immune system may be too powerful for humans and may need to be synthesized for human consumption.

"There is a lot of work to be done. It may take years before we can get to the stage where we have something to market," said Britton.
princess on 08.16.05 @ 10:33 AM PST [link]

Monday, August 15th

Under the Boardwalk and party payoff

music: Showtunes...courtesy of co-worker Ron.
mood: Blah

Sometimes I forget just how close the Beach is to me. Took a drive over the mountains to Santa Cruz on Friday Night to see Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees play the Free Friday Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk Free Concert. Only took about 30 minutes. Took me 20 minutes to walk mind you fromt he free parking spot we found on a side street, but it was a nice night and I had my furry yellow jacket just in case. The Garlic fries left something to be desired and I can not recommend the garden burger, but I wasn't that hungry anyway. Mickey was funny. His voice is still in tact, and we caught most of the 6:30 concert and then got pole position for the 8:30 concert. Somehow the jokes and stories he told were funnier the first time. If you only have 45 minutes to play, you would think you would be able to come up with some new material for the second show. Particularly becuase 90% of the audience sticks around for the second show. No matter, it had been AGES since I had been there and though the folks that accompanied me were not the ride riding type, I made up my mind to come back with those who are and have some more fun on the very upgraded rides. The last time I was there Richard Marx was playing on the Video Whirl. Got a chance to walk on the beach at night as well which I love. The Seal Lions were loud, the breeze warm and the water surprisingly luke as well. The sand was very therapeutic and I only had a momentary tinge of nostalgia for not having a certain someone to share it with. The Lights on the boardwalk were awesome and the view from the beach was exhilirating. The big Vanilla Softserve was just what the doctor ordered and the peopel watching prime. I could just sit and watch all day. I resolve to one day do the boardwalk proper and spend all day throwing money at charicature drawings, funnelcakes, airbrush tatoos, cheesy photos and the likes. I think I at least deserve that this month before the weather starts getting too chilly for a gal like myself, particularly with only a furry yellow coat to keep me warm wink Another great reason to love the boardwalk, one of the last places in America, land of the "free" you can walk around outside with a beer in your hand. Survivor of Eye of the Tiget Fame plays in two weeks...maybe I can get some thrill seekers together by that time...

Saturday I finished my Harry Potter book....I give it a B for being repetative and a tad confusing, but some fun stuff. Alsways good to think of Alan Rickman when reading a book.

Major transistion on the homefront avoided or probably more accurately postponed for the moment. Fingers are cramping they've been crossed so long. Can I get an amen...or a man...or an ahem even...that would be nice.

Saturday I also went to a party and met a few film directors. Independent, but Sundace attendees at any rate. They were passionate and interesting, and I turned them on to "my" website and one never knows what will come out of it. One was doing a film on Guardian Angels and reccomended the show now on DVD called Dead Like Me. All the more reason to finish my play before it is filched. I fully expect to be starring in a film by the end of the year, which will launch my career and make getting my plays and of course memoirs published that much easier and quicker...

Busy social week ahead, and the pending purchase of a red dress should speak to the risk taking, anything-is-possible kind of mood I feel is on the horizon. Bout time too...this funk...not so good....must...get...out...must be the theatre withdrawl. yeah, that's the ticket.

princess on 08.15.05 @ 05:25 PM PST [link]

Thursday, August 11th

Drama, Dreams, Doubles and Disorganization

music: Better than Ezra
mood: Grumpy

So Seattle was sunny and warm just like I like it. And consequently everyone else, and I do mean EVERYONE else was complaining constantly how hot it was. By the seond day with all the in and out of blasting air conditioning in cars, homes, stores and planes, my throat was sore and I was drained. Ultimately in the end I had a good time and the wedding went off flawlessly, but there was little sleep and a lot of running around. Note to self. Elope. Or give yourself an entire year to plan and learn to DELEGATE. This is perhaps the most vital part of planning a wedding. For those of you in the process, learn from what I am sure al the books, websites and past brides/bridesmaids have to say and plan early to make lots of lists and to DELEGATE. After 5 trips to the 4 different liquor stores, 2 days before the wedding to find enough bottles of the right kind of red wine is not perhaps the best time to realize you have forgotten to get champagne. I speak bluntly because I of course have only been involved in weddings thus far as a non-bride. Perhaps like being female strange and retarded things happen to you without your total control when you are getting married, but it would seem that our bride, who was not quite a bridezilla, was far more frazzled and had left far more to the last minute than would seem logical. If you make the guest book yourself in advance, I would assume a pen would be something you would put on the list to get. Though personally I feel a blue medium bic works just as well and you can use that pen again, but if you need a special pen, wouldn't you buy one the first 3 times you are in Michaels for other wedding crafts. It's in the same Aisle. Anyway, as I said, lovely stuff and except for the air conditioning all was good. London Broil and the wedding cake more than made up for the disorganization, wacky running about, no ride to the airport as planned, the plane delays and the women next to me geneflcting three times uber quickly before takeoff....like I wouldn't notice...please. I was really tempted to speak and say...oooh that doesn't sound right...I wonder if the pilot hears that? But I didn't.

Dreams: So I have a dream every few months, particularly when Ihave a bunch to do and the mental lists seem to be missing something. The dream is simple. I realize at the end of my senior year of Highschool that I can't remember doing any Math Homework. I seem to be passing the class, and I am not concerned about the final, just that the homework grade is going to effect me somehow. I go mad trying to think if there was a schedule and somehow in the dream I'm not inclined to ask anyone else about it. More of a mental note. Well The other night I am having this dream and I am woken up mid dream by the phone. It's 5 am and my yahoo alerts for "breaking" news alerts me that the Discovery has landed safe. And at first I thought in my stuper, I could have waited for that. Then, I feel relieved. And I go back to sleep. AND to my surprise for the first time in my life I FIND the schedule in my dream. Not a horror flick and not a hollywood ending, I pride myself for deciding to find the scheudle and to find that I have only missed about 7 assignments, 1 assignment on the first Friday of each month. I of course look for the symbolism. In the dream that doesn't really change anything but like with the shuttle news, I am somewhat relieved to know that answer, even if it requires another solution ( to be heavy on the math metaphor)

Doubles: So you have celebrity body doubles for stunts and nude scenes. You have liposuction. Combine the two and you have a weight double. What if you could transfer weight to another person just temporarily, and what if you could get paid for taking someone elses weight. If all the MASS in the world has to stay the same ( people being born and dying in connection) then you could just have someone else carry your weight around for you. Like an ameoba kind of....just schlep it on to someone. And they cold distibute the weight how they wanted... No more bob jobs, just be a weight double. Going to a reunion, no time to diet or work out, no worries. An alternative to surgery, cheap and appealing to the lazy person. And then you cold have the tabloids follow all the people who are wearing Tom Cruise and John travlota's fat about. EEEW. Interesting....I think I'll invest in the technology...or create it....now where did I put that biochemistry degree...

Drama: Having a bit of a hiccup in the living situation. I'm confident I CAN work it out, but the question is what will it cost. Ultimately I don't want to move again, and we aren't quite there, but serious concerns to be discussed and hopefully resolved ASAP.

Winner of the week...Violet Crumble. yummmy.

princess on 08.11.05 @ 08:20 PM PST [link]

Wednesday, August 10th

The Happiest of Places

music: None
mood: Big Sigh

The speech I gave at the Wedding this weekend which I will tell you ALLLLLL about once I catch my breath...

The Happiest of Places
By Susannah Greenwood

Once upon a time, in a suburb with a somewhat silly sounding name, there lived a girl. And as is often the case, there also lived another girl. As life would have it, these two girls at a very young age, 8 to be exact, became what is known as friends. In fact, they became authorities on the subject. The taller of the two girls was as sweet as they come, and you could tell by the number of people who constantly surrounded her and by the hundreds upon hundreds of photos she collected through life, that she was a great friend, maybe even the best friend there ever was and ever was to be. She did all the things that a good friend does without ever being asked to, without anyone ever teaching her how to do it. She never forgot a birthday, she put lots of stickers on the letters she sent and she single handedly kept the telephone companies in business with all the thoughtful calls she made to all her friends who numbered in the thousands, perhaps even the millions. She gave and gave, valuing every person, never judging or asking for anything in return, though people lined up around the block to be able to call her a friend. Her heart barely fit in her body it was so big, which is not at all to say it was fat, or that she was, but that is was in fact so full of love, and compassion for others, so swollen with care, and one could certainly say passion, that it was constantly on the edge of bursting. She was what they call a natural. And all that crossed her path benefited from this great skill, this gift she had of being a friend. It’s too bad friendship wasn’t a paying gig, because she would no doubt have been the Bill Gates of Friendship Inc. But it didn’t matter because her life was plenty rich for her large heart.

Years later, 10 to be exact, in celebration of the shorter girls 18th birthday, she treated the taller girl to a trip to an enchanted kingdom in the warmest part of the state. It appeared that this was the happiest place on Earth. Like friendship, this kingdom was full of thrills and spills. Laughter and crankiness. Full days of sun which tire you out, but in a good way, and the occasional cloud, though there was almost always a silver lining thanks to the positive outlook at least one or the other girls possessed at any given time. In fact the similarities between this kingdom and friendship were overwhelmingly uncanny, the only real differences being the overpriced soda which is very rarely found in friendship and lack of beer which is considered by many to be a crucial part in the later stages. This giant universe had put two people together in such a way that it made the world seemed small indeed. A rollercoaster and a magical one at that. And as they stood at the gates of this enchanted kingdom, at the edge of adulthood, surrounded by childhood, they looked at each other knowingly, grinned from ear to ear, grabbed each others hands and launched themselves full speed into the adventure of friends for life.

As the years past, the two became taller (though the shorter girl never did quite catch up even with the help of heels, but probably only because she refused to stand up straight.) And some could argue the girls grew wiser, though some would certainly argue not so much. The physical distance between them grew further, as the taller of the two moved away to a suburb with an even sillier sounding name. The girls of course kept in touch as true friends do though, and even when they did not speak (the chaos that age often brings to lives impeding on the frequency of their conversations) it was as if not even a minute had passed between the chats when they did have them. And they were there for each other for the saddest and the most joyous of their lives great events. And they realized what a tremendous miracle it was, considering all the garbage that occurs after the age of 8, that they still felt like children in each others prescence. Still felt like 8. And that they decided, kept the wrinkles away, which is more then they could say Bill Gates had managed to accomplish.

During this friendship between the two girls, just when you thought the heart of the taller one couldn’t get any bigger, just when you were sure she had no more room at all for even one more friend, the taller girls eyes met those of a boy. Now this was not like the many, many, MANY other boys whose eyes had met the girls before. When her eyes met his, her heart skipped a beat. It might even have skipped two, but it sped up so much after that, it was quite impossible to tell for certain. And a strange sound was heard. And the boy opened his eyes wide and raised his eyebrows and said in earnest “What was that?” And the girl looked a bit surprised and tilted her head, and she smiled and then she said “My heart. What you heart was my heart shifting its contents to make room for you.” And the boy, who was really a man, but also very much a boy, smiled back. And with that, the girl knew she would have to make a lot of room, because the love she would have for him would definetly be plentiful and likely permanent. Yes, she knew he was going to be in there for quite some time, maybe even forever if you can imagine that.

And it wasn’t long after that that the boy who was really a man, but also very much a boy, fell in love with the girl who was coincidentally, a woman, but very much a girl. The girl returned the love and their hearts shook on it. They spent what seemed like an eternity in itself together. They created a home, and they traveled the country, and their hearts flourished in the sunshine of their friendship. Every day stronger and more precious. Love being a verb, (she learned that in school, a tribute to her certain wisdom) the girl and the boy practiced lots. And because love is never done, never complete, because as the girl discovered, there is always more room for love in your heart, they did just that.

Many years later, 9 to be exact, the girl who was taller and the boy who was even taller than her, decided to give all of their friends and family a peek into their hearts, they decided to share unselfishly the joy they gave each other, and so they threw a beautiful ball. And not unlike that enchanted kingdom from long ago, the ball was full of laughter, and the occasional yelling, and a lot of sweat and a few tears for good measure, covering all the facets of friendship and love. And looking at them on that day you could hardly remember a time they didn’t know and love each other, and maybe that’s because their souls were not strangers at all when first they met in this life. The very big universe, once again, seemed like a small, small world with just two inhabitants. And as they stood at the gates to the happiest place on Earth, now knee deep in adulthood, though surrounded by the memories of childhood, they looked at each other knowingly, grinned from ear to ear, grabbed each others hands and launched themselves full speed into the greatest and happiest of adventures. The adventure known as marriage, and it was a good thing the boy was on the tall side, because it is a well known fact that you must be of a certain height to enjoy most of the rides in marriage.

And so in a gesture to the girl who had found the boy and formed the deepest of friendships, the girl from years ago (22 to be exact) stood up straight and asked all of the taller girls friends, and the even taller boys friends, to raise their glasses, and join her in the most heartfelt of toasts…a toast to friendship in all its many wonderful forms. To love, in all its many forms. To soul mates found and more importantly held on to, and to living happily ever after. Which as it turns out, the girl and the boy were both naturals at.

The Beginning
princess on 08.10.05 @ 07:50 PM PST [link]

Wednesday, August 3rd

Poker, patents and getting out of dodge

music: None
mood: restless

Trying to tip the balance and prepare for my trip to Washington state for Laurina's wedding, I foresee a lot of "girly" activities as bridesmaid. There will be primping, and dresses, makeup, flower, speeches and bonding no doubt so this week has been about hanging out with the guys a bit and trying to NOT chew my finger nails so there is actually something to paint and manicure come Friday.

Just got back from Poker with the dudes (special girl invited night) and though I wish it was due to the amount of beer consumed, alas, the poker gods were not in my favor. A few great wins, a lot of luck and then a few very bad game choices that agreed with me not. I starte with about $8 and ended with just under $2. Not tremendous failure, but certainly not great for 6 hours opf playing. It got nasty a few times, but ultimately I learn, take NOTHING personal. Money indeed does produce more posessiveness than normal sport. The stakes are not just your pride but a bit of your wallet each loss...I find it amusing becuase in most cases we are talking a buck or two at most and people still get...very particular about things. A lot is taken for granted in poker if you are used to playnig with people that know every single little rule. It was nice I was invited, but I can see patience isn't neccessarily a trait one wants to put effort into possessing when there are coins to be won. No matte,r a fun evening of testoterone to be sure.

This evening followeda lovely night of independent film folk I had over. the evening inclued one film and tv major, 1 film lecturure and film maker, 1 screenplay writer/actor/film editor, 2 music composers, a film maker/editor/writer and editing book as well as film, and myself (actress, film buff and cook). We saw some film project in the works, ate and tkled artsy fartsy for several hours. Though it was artsy, it was all guys, so again, I got a bit of the old testosterone fix. All I need is to detox after the wedding with some Dukes of Hazzard and video games and I should be all right.

In discussion not too long ago the topic of patents came up and I wondered if instead of cash for patents or royalties one could specify beer or chocolate or even cheese as their payment. An intersting thought I will leave you with.

Speech still to write, packing still to do and LOTS of work before departing at the butt crack of dawn. Got my rides all lined up, nearly fit into my dress and looking forward to taking a break from work and life for a bit to be with my girls up north. Equally looking forward to going back to MY state, driving MY jeep, in MY sun and seeing the boys again too.

princess on 08.03.05 @ 02:27 AM PST [link]

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