Starfish, Cement Mixers and Religious backseat driving

music: None
mood: Excited or Aggitated...I'm not sure which...

A word to the reckless. That little cross you hang from your rear view mirror will protect you about the same as the plastic strawberry scented charm I hang from mine. I will be happy when I don't have to drive down Alum Rock everyday to work. It is no wonder there is a graveyard the size of Rhode Island in the center of the city (the DEAD center arh arh arh) it is no doubt full of asshole drivers. But HOPEFULLY I won't have to worry for too much longer. I am on my way to see a house back in South San Jose, against MY hills, where I used to be that seems a likely match. No more households with cats, this one has a dog. No more houses with women, this one is just a guy and no more sharing a bathroom, this one comes with one for just myself. The fingers are crossed. Karma karma karma chameleon, please, let it be.

Movie update: Saw Zero Suspect with Ben Kingsly. I predicted it way too early, but it was still interesting. 3 1/2 Rutger Hauers, as it had some EXCELLENT camera angles and effects without being pretentious, was well acted and except for Adam Eckhardt's "butt Chin" dimple, it exceeded normal movie viewing expectations. I was home early enough to do some writing, but the roomies moved out this morning so I thought I ought to enjoy a small bonding session over the big screen. It was a good relaxing evening after a HUGE Indian dinner that left me in a state of coma. No feeding tubes necessary.

Sponge Bob Square Pants Movie gets 3 out of 5 Rutgers. It was funny but mostly becuase certain characters shaped like starfish and sponges reminded me a bit too much of some people I know. Favorite line was When Patrick the starfish was listening to Mindy, yes MINDY the mermaid and he just stares at her and says "you're hot". I use that a lot now. Very amusing.

Visual musings: Two images that stick out this week. I was driving home last night and saw the Karate Studio. Through the window the kids were kicking around in a circle, drilling I suppose. What amused me was I was flipping radio stations and when I paused on the Country Station, they were kicking in time to Garth Brooks " I Got friends in Low places". It just struck me a clash of cultures. Then today I was driving to work, or rather dodging assholes to work, and saw lining the street as far as I could see at least 10 that I could count, CEMENT MIXERS. that is a LOT of concrete man. I had the WAY too sudden urge to go dive in whatever hole they were filling and write my name in it. Or some sassy message.

Lots of shows to see once rainmaker closes this weekend. For the next three weeks on the list is Pajama game, 42 Street, Belle of Amherst, A my name in Alice, Chess (which I already have my tickets for!!) and lets not forget the movies as well, with Tickets already able to be purchased for Revenge of the Sith 1201am Wednesday, May 18th showing, Hitchikers guide to the Galaxy coming out Friday, and Madagascar ( the animated movie with Chris Rock, Ben Stiller and David Schwimmer playing central park zoo creatures) opening on May 27th.

Did I mention I can't believe its already May? Where does the time go. Well, I'm off. Trying to make it to see Hedwig and the Angry Inch tonight in Palo Alto, but if my meeting goes over with Housing Dude, then I may go home to my huge empty mansion, use the hot tube and read or write instead. I'm down to only 3 non work related projects, so I've got some free time there...
LOL

Have a good one....

princess on 04.27.05 @ 05:56 PM PST [link]

Thursday, April 21st

Puns, smiles and the no spinster zone!

music: None yet..haven't had time...
mood: I gotta pee, but what's new..

Short bytes for the morning as the site is down temporarily...and esavers...is pending...

I saw a man walk out of a store with the most friendly genuine smile the other day. Then I noticed it was the "zen center" he was walking out of and I thought...that's fitting.

Metro review came out, and though I had to look up some words to make sure it was good, it was. Very weird.

Ron brought in a little TINY finch that he almost ran over last night. Such a cute little bird. He named him sherlock. He's are pet for the day until he can get them to the wildlife place. he's eating seed and drinking water, just can't fly. so TINY and cute. I dould eat him up. He has little yellow feathers onhis chest. The bird, not Ron.

Some great Puns to make you smile today.. I LOVED the last three, but all of them are super.

Here are the 10 first place winners in the
International Pun Contest:

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead
raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm
sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns
to the other and says "Dam!".

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they
lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank,
proving once again that you can't have your kayak and
heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my
electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first
replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused
Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend
dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel
and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent
tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager
came out of the office and asked them to
disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because", he said, " I can't stand chess-nuts
boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named
"Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they
name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she
also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen
Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments,
so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of
God, a rival florist across town thought the
competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to
close down, but they would not. He went back and
begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the
rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and
most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed
their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close
up shop. Terrified, they did so, --- thereby proving
that only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most
of the time, which produced an impressive set of
calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which
made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath. This made him ...(Oh, man,
this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused
fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten
different puns to friends, with the hope that at least
one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

razz big grin
princess on 04.21.05 @ 11:15 AM PST [link]

Wednesday, April 20th

New news..keeping it upbeat

music: None
mood: Racing, racing, on the go...

After a tumultuous battle with a virus laden computer, the site going down at the most inopportune moments and LOADS of work that continue to pile annoyingly on my desk...I quit. No not my job, I quit fighting. I switched gears. I worked on Pear Avenue Tickets for a few, and decided to try to think of 3 things that went well today. This is what I came up with.

1) I have my new glasses (they couldn't fix the old ones, and so I have a new pair.) and they are much easier for the eyes staring at the computer. I like the contacts for peripheral vision, but after you get used to having the frames in your line of sight, the glasses are easier. Good think I'm not vain.

2) The Sneezing has subsided and I can breather easy now. I bought myself some LOVELY flowers and still no sneezing, so allergies are gone for good.

3) I got my first review that I can think of for acting which was nice. The Milpitas Post article spends a LONG time talking about the play itself, but I get a whole paragraph to myself which was kind. I thought he was a bit too stingy on the other performances but no matter, I'll take this as a good thing and mini ego boost for the day, and much needed.

4) The Staged reading went very well at City lights. I directed more than just a staged reading and it exceeded the expectations of everyone attending. Lots of blocking and props and superb commited acting from the three cast members provided a great opportunity for the playwirght to see his work. I was asked to audtion for the City Lights Generals and told I MAY have more to do on the directing end this coming season there. This would be a coup. Fingers are crossed.

5) I was asked to do a tiny bit of voice over work for World to do this week. Not paid, but a good experience. They are a conceirge type service and I will be featured annoucing some events that will be heard over hotel phones...I think...I'l let you know how it goes on Friday.

6) I received the title for my happy yellow jeep in the mail the other day. My mom said, your car reg came from the DMV, and I said, no, I already have that. Then I thought, oh crap, its another charge or fee or something, so I had her open it and it was OWNERSHIP! YES, at least SOMETHING is mine. YEAH!

7) Looking forward to the Apprentice...Finale will be on May 19th and they are down to just 5 this week. I know it's a silly obsession, but I find the corporate world so dispicable and the TV world almost as much, but somehow adore the arrogance and honest tell it like it is manner of the Donald. Thursdays just won't be the same without the apprentice when they finally stop making them. Oh but I was supposed to be listing good things...hmmm...

I think I better stop while I'm ahead. ANd by ahead I mean still looking for a home, phone acting up, computer not working, face breaking out, bridesmaid dress trying on fiasco, why is my car full of boxes kind of ahead.....off to a brush up rehearsal...two more weekends to see the show.... LOL wink

princess on 04.20.05 @ 06:09 PM PST [link]

Sunday, April 17th

Cloneville!!!

music: Dexter Freebish, the best one hit wonder of the early 2000's!!!
mood: Chirpy all things considered

So I realized that I have been subjecting you, my loyal readers to the quagmire of deep and depressing bits that have been lava lamping (yes, I have a poetic license, I can say that) in my brain. And so Today I share a quick story I found very amusing. Upbeat and quirky...as it ought to be.

My Brother came down from San Diego this weekend to see the Rainmaker, which he said was better than when I played Estelle in No Exit in College (which has always been in my mind, the benchmark for what sort of a performance I feel I have given and acheived). Afterwards I took him to the Hotel De Anza for free music and drinks. Colby and Johnny were playing and they were GREAT! Two acoustic Guitars, not TOO loud for the space, playing evertything from Radiohead, to the Beatles to Neil Young. They are awesome. Kinda cute too.

Any way, I digress. About 11:15pm a bunch of people come in to the upscale hotel lounge in hawaiian shirts. I assume it's some themed wedding or bachelor party, and being that I am quite used to the site of a hawaiian shirt as acceptable Evening wear (Thank you Chris Tann) I don't much give it a second thought. Until a second group, seemingly unrealted to the first party comes in about 5 minutes later. They are all ordering drinks and being lound and I notice most of them are in the late 30's or 40's. Hmm. Okay. Whatever. As we leave the Street are just PACKED, and I am amazed to see just a sea of people in hawaiian shirts in the street, on the sidewalk, in the cars, just all over. It's like the most surreal thing. The streets of San Jose have gone hawaiian, the clones have taken over. Parrot hats, leis....and then...it's all clear. Jimmy Buffet played at HP Pavillion. DUH. Mystery solved. And this morning you will be happy to know, San Jose was back to normal. Bums, Cholos and young punks drifting about...no sign of Margaritaville to be seen. I wonder where those people GO when Jimmy isn't here? Where do they hide!? Nevermind, I don't want to know.

LOL

princess on 04.17.05 @ 11:22 AM PST [link]

Friday, April 15th

timing

music: none
mood: somber

Sometimes my timing weirds even me out. I may not be the most consistant, but I certainly have a my intuition in tact today. I called my parents at 3:45 today, for no reason. Dad answered. He was brief and his voice tight. And the silence before he spoke was blaring. He didn't want to say it, but I was of course the only one that could hear it first. They had to put romeo down. It had been less than 15 minutes since he had passed, hardly enough time to let it sink in. And the tears flowed freely over the other end of the phone. My parents so sad. Nearly 17 years old, the Golden Retriever was more of a child than a pet for a family that loved him dearly. And there is a relief that the harbingers of the previous blog were not for me and that this was quick and he was ready. I feel certain Romeo's happy spirit is about, perhaps he is chasing a Big Black Bumble Bee, a pigeon and a cream colored cat in doggy afterlife. Hold on to life as you are seeing it this weekend.
princess on 04.15.05 @ 04:30 PM PST [link]

Images of death and struggle...my minds eye montage

music: Puerto Rico ( Great world music by the people of putumayo)
mood: anticipatory...reflective

I missed the turn off to my house last night. I haven't done that in a long time. I was thinking. I was looking at the moon and it's eerie pink tint. not orange like a harvest moon, but strangly pink. It seemed to be swelling too. I swear it was just barely a crescent when I left the Lounge at 1am. Larger and in different places. Ever wonder how the moon can jump about like that. One minute its to your left, then somehow right in front, and of course up higher. Blink and it hides, blink again and it seeks. Who is watching who I wonder?

I was on my own planet, and I guess I just thought if I kept on driving toward it I might make it there. If only you coud drive to the moon. The gravity of earth bound situations wouldn't seem so consuming I suppose up there. Or maybe you would feel more alone, more helpless. I didn't get there, to the moon, in case you were curious. Not this time anyway. Maybe I wasn't driging fast enough. No, the world was in so motion montage mode last night. 1am on the clock seemed to last longer. I was in no rush. The days are filled, never enough time, but somehow I tooam in slow motion. AS I drove I looked for the sighn, literally and not so much. Streets I hadn't seen before, Gemelli, Madden, Meuler, GAy. I smirk and emit a guilty giggle. What if I were to live on Gay street. I could have a house coming out party. The jokes ammusement is brief. I move on. To my left as I unknowingly approach Alum Rock a huge, just spanse cemetary. It looks dark, cold, eerie, and as I approach the end of the black iron gated death rest home, I realize it is the same cemetery that I have admired in the day on my way to and from work. This cemetary in the daylight is beautiful and I have though about walking about it to explore many times. Huge marble gravestones, green grass, angels and saints guarding the dead. There are always a multitude of flowers, baloons, and toys about this one section of the green, seemingly a section of smaller childrens graves. So interesting the idea of a graveyard. The dead give up on life as we know it, but the living continue to hold on. I guess thats what we do. it's maybe all we know how to.

But this cemetary looks more like a graveyard in the dark. It would take a fair amount of liquor, or at very least a trustyworthy companion and a double dog dare to enter this space at this time of night. A whole different feel as its silence creeps between the metal bars of it's cage onto the nearly empty street. I expect to see a spirit or two, but I catch no certain glimpse, I just feel those souls, and hear their stories as I pass...in slow motion.

And as I pass I remember three images in the last week that I now remember I wanted to hold on to, just in case. The first, the horrible one, a pigeon in the street, injured. Thoughts: 1) Oh poor thing. 2) Oh poor stupid thing. 3) If it weren't in the other lane going the other way I could do something for him. 4) How do I know it's a him. 5) There is nothing I can do for him. 6) Survival of the fittest. 7) you never see a raven or a falcon get hit in the street. 8) I saw a seagul once in the road alive, same expresion on its face. Not pain so much as embarrasment. I want to go back, this is a mistake, isn't anyone going to help? These creatures.

The second image shocks me more. A fuzzy black bumble bee on it's back on the sidewalk as I go to the market just earlier in the day today. I grimace and pass, and then decide this I can change... I walk back and carefully with my toe, flip him over. he struggles. Again, a he. Strange. He's large, and though he looks dazed as much as a bee can, he loks strong. On my way back fromthe market a look ahead in anticipation. Perhaps he flew away, I can't see him...then I do. On his back again, this time not moving. In a matter of a few minutes he's gone. An image of a bee ghost floating up and around produces a weak smile from me. The man walking toward me thinks its for him. I let him think so, I don't think Bumble will mind. When a child says they don't believe a fairy dies, why do bees die? Maybe the bee is the modern equivelent. Well I tried to believe. It's the thought that counts.

Final image. A cream colored cat on the side of the road. No gender assinged but even though I owned two male cats in my life, I would have to wager the corpse looked female to me. Day one it was close to the center of the lane, day two off to the side, day three starting to bloat and fester, and day four, I looked...gone. What a job that would be. You would have to be emotionally void. I don't think you could ever get used to that. And I think about grave diggers and somehow that is more appealing to dig in the earth, landscaping death rather than collecting it. I wonder if the Rearper digs his job ( o pun intended)

And now one last image of struggle. A few weeks back I passed a woman, large, black, distraught. She stood on the sidewalk and as I passed she asked me not for money, not for food, but a place to take a shower. Newly homeless I imagine as the idea of being clean was more important than eating or drowning sorrows. She looked to be the most alone woman I have ever seen. If I had a home at the time of my own I would have let her. As we know though, I'm still inbetween homes and was then. I told her I'm sorry, I didn't have a place for her. I told her to hang in there. she said she was trying but the tears were grasping on to duct for dear life. Strength my dear. I said it's going to be all right. you are going to make it, just hang on. She replied, I sometimes wonder if I will make it, I wonder. But you will, you have to, you just have to be strong. Good advice, ironic. And I gave her a hug, because it had been a while for her I could tell, and it seemed the right thing to do, without thinking. More hugs for strangers in need. Or maybe hug when YOU yourself need one and no one offers. Take inititive.

And the montage fades to black, and another day begins, and without worrying about all the death and struggle and why that seems so important, without fearing a harbinger or personal warning to myself, I find myself happy I see I am seeing. Glad my eyes are open, becuase I feel like the last few days I have been bracing myself, with eyes closed. But Feeling and reality as we know can be very different. Take time to see things this weekend my dears.

princess on 04.15.05 @ 11:46 AM PST [link]

Tuesday, April 12th

Dominos and Karmic Generosity

music: French Cafe...soothing...or would be...
mood: Stressed and drained

So this housing thing is finally getting to me. If I weren't doing so many other things, I suppose my evenings would be more open to a "proper" search. My attitude has quickly dropped from " I can cope, no big deal, bright side of life, learning things, see the signs" to "I don't WANT to have to deal, what is the POINT, I've been burned now enough to think I won't ever even get to STAY in a place long enough to get to know it and the people." I'm in NO frame of mind to live alone either, so that won't work.

I'm really wigging out here. It's been over 3 years since I felt like I had any sort of financial and emotional control over my life. Bits and pieces, moments but totally out of synch. I can't be happy with a job AND a life, it's like a trade off, no cake and eating it too. I can only have the icing, or the cake, but neither are filling and both go straight to my thighs. It's been a year to the day nearly since I have been floating between houses and work for sleep and peace and almost 2 years since I have escaped the country. the tension is building, no even watercourse way seems to help. And what should be getting better, may not be.

If I didn't owe taxes ( How I can be employed only 1/2 the year, make well under the standard of living, pay taxes on MOST of the money I did make and STILL owe $4000 is beyond me.) and have weddings and directing coming up I would seriosuly flee to BOlivia to get my mind settled, to heal, to be crazy and stupid and not worry about anything for a few weeks. Purge my sould which is so laden with disty sorrow and undeserved unintentional pity and frustration. I have had no sleep in weeks, I haven't been eating hardly and I hate it. I try to drown myself in work to at least feel productive if I can't feel loved or deserveing of love/care, but my glasses have been broken for 2 weeks now and so I'm trying to work with my contacs which dry and stick to my eyes within 10 minutes of looking at the screen.

Plus my computer is besieged with some very clever hijacking spyware that has illuded all attemps so far to eliminate it so it takes me 3 times as long to do anything. IT is coming in to work on it, so throw away another 3 hours for that. I have shit in my car ( and though paid off, I can't find the depositi slips to deposit checks to get reimbursemsnt and stipend checks deposited so no car payment doesn't help the bank account), boxes and bags spread all over the place, my mail still goes to Chris's because I don't ever make it to Palo Alto anymore and let's face it, the NEXT place I find I have to at least be there 2 months before I'm going to switch addresses. Then again Artsopolis may end up without any funding and I could be out of a job in August and out of a place to live even.

I got the 1 year mark of a breakup that no doubt will throw tsunami sized wrenchs into things when I least expect it, depsite attempts to both rationalize and ignore that whole part of my life which seems relatively hopeless, particularly with that attitude. Wretched little domino effects, visious little cycles ( Like the wizard of odd, i can hear the tune now as she races down the road on her cycle.). If I had a place to call my own, or even just a place I knew I would be comfortable staying for a year, then I could unpack, I would know where my stuff WAS, I would be able to write, I would get my work done, I could make more money, becuase I would be more orgnaized and be able to take on more, and then might even deserve and afford a vacation to clense and get back to where I NEED to be. I'm shrinking and sinking and destroying myself. But that one stubborn domino refuses to see eye to eye with me. Maybe I will write a play about a domino. What a metaphor. the sad thing is, I normally would look to learn something from the last oh...let's just say...3 years. I look to see how much worse it could have been, but at the moment I am just waiting to get cancer, lose my job, and misplace my winning lotto ticket. Where are the black flies in your chardonay when you need them.

6 people in the audience on Sunday for Rainmaker was odd. 5 out of the 6 liked it, the one there for me, didn't, and while I agree witht the reasons which were not choices I had made or had control over, it doesn't really help when you are feeling low to have that added to the pit.

I go now to see a place I hope will work and in a way, I may be dead by end of week so what's the point right? Bitter, bitchy me. Doesn't suit me at all. Whiney Weepy me. Not any better. I wanted to be saved and all I got was filler. distraction. Sometimes I don't want to tell people WHAT I need. Sometimes i don't even know. Sometimes I may be contradictory becuase that's what life is right now, and I don't know any better. Sometimes I want what I give, and that's impossible becuase no one but me does that. And it would seem articficial if I even noticed it if it came from someone else. The lines drwan are invisible ones and if no one crosses them, then I don't see any solution to this mood.

I've got a play to write and no desire, (plus no glasses or internet access at "home") and a good book to read which will only depress me more in this state. The boxes in my car and no gas in my tank may shut me out of this place anyway. Got to remember to ask if anyone in the house is going to get pregnant, or sell the house. Anything else you can think of I shoud ask?

I keep a list of all the well wishes I wish for everyone I care about. Jobs, love, conception, health, life changes...I put very explicitly the wishes I want from them. And when they come true, I delete them from the list. I have never put myself on this list. I guess I always thought that was selfish and hoped that someone would have a list with my name on it for me. But I guess if want something done right, you have to do it yourself. If my laptop will boot today, maybe I put myself on the list. Maybe I do, because it certainly can't hurt. Of course I have a good track record, why jinx it now, at least now my friends can benefit from my karmic generosity.

princess on 04.12.05 @ 06:52 PM PST [link]

Friday, April 8th

This just in...my life is a joke....

music: Sahara longe YES!
mood: Shock I think.....

So, I glide into work this morning and I'm checking my email and I come across an email from a friend Fred who was at my birthday party at the new house. He's actually requesting ticket for a theatre I am doing box office for and as a second note asks if he is mistaken in thinking the house I had my party at, the NEW PALACE, is for sale. Did he miss something. I think hmmm...well...this is odd. Let's take a look at craiglist and see whats going on. A search for the address produces 2 adds for the same house posted April 4th and April 7th. Hey, my HOUSE is for sale (Just under 1 million too). And the puzzle pieces start to fall together...My check from April 1st has not been cashed, I was asked to move my theatre cubes to the garage right away from the front of the house, I haven't heard back from Tim about hooking up my internet....and I think wow, i can't believe this, and then I think...when are they going to tell me...and then I think...how can I learn from this... and then I think... i ought to buy a lottery ticket and win and fucking buy the house and show whoever is running this crazy show who is boss. I shot off a very polite email to Tim under the pretense of we need to talk. If someone comes in ( Johnny Depp, Val Kilmer, Rutger Hauer) to buy the house with renters, maybe I won't have to move....then again....maybe I should. I'm not grumpy, I think I am too tired to be grumpy, and to be honest I don't have the facts, this is a job transfer for at least one of the house mates that would appear to be making the force sell, but I don't know exactly what the deal is. I would be utterly exhausted if I had to move again in the next 60 days, and the expense would be unwelcome as I JUST paid off my final car payment and was ALMOST at the point where I could start SAVING. I'm still baffled by my luck....the gig is up (or JIG if you are Irish) but then again, maybe I will get that lotto ticket and maybe I will get ...stay tuned....

As for opening night, it went of fairly well, larger audience than expected, some happy audience members and no MAJOR flubs and you can't complain about that. I arrived to find a rose in my dressing room from "pop" a nice card and cabbage patch key chain from Starbuck and a home made glitter star with LIZZIE screw gunned to my dressing room door. Very cute. We all had fun...will continue you to I'm sure.

Have a good weekend...perhpas you will see me zooming all over the bay area....

Cheers!

princess on 04.08.05 @ 11:18 AM PST [link]

Wednesday, April 6th

Sinning, spinning, raining, whinning

music: Jason Mraz
mood: punchy

A multitude of updates...quick before my computer breaks.

Yes the saga continues, with a lapse in Norton anti virus subscription on my work pooter, and spyware infiltrating. After hours of running search and destroy software to correct the problem...I still have a renegade home page and popups coming from all directions. The speed has increased a bit which is my main pain when it comes to productivity, but to be honest I'm not in top form as the stems from my glasses broke (don't ask) and because they can't balance on my nose all day, I have resorted to the contact lenses which dry out if I stare at the screen for more than about 30 seconds. yes,yes all sorts of cranky pants today.... but I am able to blog...and so I do...

Saw Sin City over the weekend and was impressed. It had a great sense of humor about it, some great film work and I was definately impressed. A few things confused me, and sadly the 2 minutes my man Rutger Hauer was on the screen were part of that confusion. Without spoiling, if anyone understands what his part in the movie was about, could you let me know. His very nice eyes and the statue of him were all very pleasing, and he get a 5 Rutgers out of 5 for his performance, but I will put the rest of the movie at 4 Rutgers. Mickey Rourke, who I normally thing NOTHING of, deserves and oscar. Some good stuff there. The fashion was kicking, the violence well tempered, and I was glad Brittany Murphy was not in it so much. Her "character" was annoying. Get a chance to see it, do...The Preview for Hitch hikers guide to the Galaxy got 5 out of 5 Rutgers....SOOOOO clever, makes me confident they might not have screwed up that movie after all...opening night after rainmaker for SURE....

Rainmaker opens tomorrow and I feel strange that I am ready, or at least I think I am. There are things to work out, and improvement to be had for sure, but nothing we can't handle. Interesting to see what the turn out and reaction will be. I think I mentioned it before, I have had such a great time with the cast and enjoy them so much, I can't tell if we suck or not. I don't think we do at all, but I do wonder. I have been spoiled indeed, my dresing room ( closet) is decked out with a big comfty chiar and a working mini fridge. Decorations for the 4 week run to come...empty bottles, perscription drug bottles, ashtrays full of butts and all the things a proper actress should have yes? so very method. Ask me about the stage kiss story when you see me next, it's a giggle and a half

The Cats in heat have been meowing all night, but downloading master chess onto my phone and playing until 1 in the morning, has proved a good thing, puts me to sleep a lot faster than mindsweeper and tarot solitaire ( If I win this game, I will win the lottery, If I win this game I will get a directing job, if I win this game, johnny depp will walk through the door...I lose a lot)

Working on a stage reading ( direction there of) for City Lights which will perform on Monda April 18th. ood playwirght, decent play, and 2 out of the 3 actors I know and are super. First of 3 rehearsals this saturday. Should be a good experience to work with the playwright.

Happy Birthday to Anu, faithful blog reader, friend and former roommate. EAt some sugar free cake for me! ( I am not saying you are fat.)

Winner of the Week: Jack Johnsons new single Sitting waiting wishing....and Howie days song Collide...both to be used in the soundtrack to my play I am writing...slowly about guradian artists...

Thing to look forward to: Amityville Horror remake looks very scary. If you get freaked out in the preview, that's a good sign.

Have a good weekend! wink

princess on 04.06.05 @ 05:57 PM PST [link]

Saturday, April 2nd

evolution

music: Jet
mood: sleepy

Zoom zoom is the prase of the day. An early call for a cue to cue at 10am has left me a bit dazed as we just finished and now it's off to the Pear for a night of local one acts to house manage. Rainmaker is coming along nicely, and we worked some tougher more emotional moments. I think once we get all the lights and costumes and props I will feel a significant improvement in those more intense moments, but still having fun and I enjoy watching when I am not on stage. I get to be barefoot for a good part of the play which I enjoy of course, and the set is looking stunning. Very impressed with the cast and how much distance has been travelled on such a natural, organic, and laxly structured rehearsal period.

It seems fitting to wax just ever so slightly philosophical about religion and science on the day the most recent Pope has passed. I am of course of a spiritual nature, though I would not call my self religious and am in fact skeptical of organized religions. The arguement of course of the faithful is that God created man, evolutionists can argue we evolved from Apes. There was a recent arguement from some "scientists" that stated a trend in thinking that we in fact must have come from something separate from apes, that we have essentially evolved too fast in too short a time to have been of the same "family". I found this so amusing and to be honest egotistical and alarming. Are we really that advanced? in just a wink of an eye, a mere 2,000 years we have progressed materially, we have invented and created more tools, more advanced machines and technology true, but have we really evolved? There is a gap in as my father puts it the "humanitarian evolution". The violence in our society, there territorialist, possessive obsessed culture the majority of humans live in is very paralell to that of the animal world. There is not an animal species I can think of where there is not some form of volence. Male animals killing the young males to prevent competition. Battles over breedign rights, prime waterholes, etc. Survival is at the root of everything. that is primal, universal.

Peace is an ideal, a goal, and a desire of humans, but I am not certain that Peace itself is human nature. it would seem that dreaming and hoping is more in line with human nature than acchieving and maintaining realistic relative calm. It this desire to improve considered evolution or is the acceptance of the way things are as much of the animal kingdom "seemingly" views it the more realistic and advanced. Greed and insecurity, proof of worth and possession seems even in the most rural and isolated communities to be significant and "natural".

We are not so far removed from ANY animal, and in many cases I feel we are less evolved. Are we arrogant enough to think because we have a written language and record history that we are more evolved? I beg to differ. To communicate telepathicly is for the most part a figment of sci fi novels for us, a concept we lost perhaps at one time and now seek to perfect artificially again. Animals never lost that ability. It is their language. Through sent, body language etc, they commincate perhaps even more efficiently. They perhaps are simply not burdened with why it should matter if we remember anything before or beyond our own generations. And many animals seem to be able to read humans and the earth more accurately than our species and its technology. Animals fleeing the beach to higher ground before a tsunami is, animals sensing paranormal activity, a dog warning of when its master willhave a seizure, cancer sniffing animals. Advanced and evolved. And does Evolve mean change, or can you evolve by NOT losing perspective, abilities and so on. Is the inaction of change a way of evolving.

I wonder if an elephant or an iguana ever contemplate what happens after they die or what will happen to their children. Certainly they must know instinctually they might one day, otherwise why would they have any fear. You can be cognizant of existance by simple prey and predator insticnts can't you? Not such a far stretch.

Are more senstitive senses more evolved? I wager to say they are, and I wager to say that we will kill ourselves as a species of far quicker than the reptiles, insects, and mamals that have existed essentially unchanged for tens of thousands of years unless we evolve humanitarianly as fast as we do technologically. If that bridge is not gapped, no religion, belief, faith, or machine is going to survive or save us.
sleepy

princess on 04.02.05 @ 05:20 PM PST [link]

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