Mother Earths tearful saga

music: the Drone of electronics, the confortable hum of computing
mood: spinning and distant

There are days when rain is clensing. When the world takes a shower, wasing off the dust and grime that accumulates over time. There are times when the world wakes refreshed and anew from its healing bath. Emerging from the waters cleaner, brighter and more optomistic. Today was not one of those days.

Today the Earth looked cold and drenched, drooping, and the vibe was much like the look. She is tremulous, heaving, uncontrollable and the impacts of this weeping set off Earthquakes. If she could curl up with a pint of Ben & Jerrys, I rather think she would. She is long out of tissues, the frustration of the empty box each time she thinks maybe she will find a small comfort never producing. Empty. And the swells keep coming, never quelling her pain, overflowing in the streets, leaving the debris of a mad existence to do battle with the more human elements.

Warring continuing to scar, the imminent prolonging of the death of a religion, malicious exposure of the private life of a sick child that never grew up, the fingers of blame pointing every which way, exploitation, interference with life, with death, the solitary suicide of a drummer, arms dealt, bad habits, old patterns, backward movement, all worries and pains she drowns.

She knows she will endure, but she weeps for the ignorant, the barbaric and the selfish. She is suspended. As Home and soul, she is not angry, though every right is hers. Instead she is full of pain for the people that can not listen, and refuse to talk anything but topical expectation. She tries to think of the things that bring the flowers and the sun. The art created not from misery, but from joy and inspiration, and appreciation, neccessity, the simple pleasures, discoveries, passion and some how today amidst the floods she is not consoled. The small are out weighed and out numberd by the negative headlines, and the hundred of stories of dispair not reported, never recorded. Extinction, betrayal, genocide, isolation.

She rocks in anguish. rolls in pity. grieves fully with each wave, each storm. breathes out sighs of confusion and disbelief. dreams of peace. longs for calm, and shivering knows the road is too long to see, to tricky to prepare for and there is no assurance even a small change for the better can be forecast for this or any generation. Nothing time tells her soothes, nothing experience speaks of is anything supportive and she is alone today, a cyclical struggle she alone must endure. desolate. wet. waiting for the winds to change. waiting. sleepy
princess on 03.29.05 @ 05:53 PM PST [link]

Friday, March 25th

Fingers in pies ( no relation to the last entry)

music: Silence...and yes...yes it is golden
mood: just fine.

Today I pushed the limit of multitasking. Since the week has been full of meetings and such, I have felt very unroductive, the perverbial plate is filling up, but I aint eatin...which as you know...is impossible being who I am, not that I am saying I'm fat. Today, data entry went smoothly, pie charting was a nice break from the repetition and reasearch, ticketing for the Pear, and casting/scheduling a staged reading for City Lights all slipped in there too between meals, peeing, apprentice discussions and trying to secure a truck to transport a futon. The move MUST be complete this weekend as I will be house sitting next week, visitng with my broher who will be in town, rehearsing ( only 11 left) for Rainmaker and I'm sure trying to maintain my "social" life at the same time. I have not mapped out HOW this move will occur exactly, there seems to be more than I thought left over, but no doubt it is the #1 priority.

A funny thing I saw today. " No parking on level 5 and 6 due to a power washing project. for more information call Carl GRIMES." Grimes. That's funny.

Winner of the Week, Sea Lab from Adult Swim on the cartoon network. CAught the most random of random espisodes late last night...very funny.

Bonus Winner of the week: Tim, the pool playing parapeligic at the Almaden lounge. More and more like Twin Peaks every day.

EXTRA BONUS OF THE WEEK: The Bay Meadows Commericals. Scroll to the bottom of the link, I like the Tango Lesson and Guys Night Out best.

Editorial Commentary of the week: Let Terry die already.

Happy Birthday to the Phantom this weekend..

Easter, I hardly Know her.

princess on 03.25.05 @ 06:01 PM PST [link]

Thursday, March 24th

Giving the finger...literally

music: None
mood: queasy

After a WAY too intense Fear Factor discussion last night at rehearsal where I stated quite plainly, there is not enough money in the world for me to eat the majority of what I hear people eat on that show, here is an interesting twist. It reminds me of the old mouse in a coke bottle skit on Saturday night live. I was just thinking too I wold grab some fast food on the way back from donating blood this afternoon...maybe not...This just in from the SJ mercury...I am SO curious where the body part in question came from...

Wendy's chili is not made out of people -- well, it is, but just a little bit.

Santa Clara County health officials confirmed Wednesday that the thing a woman bit on when enjoying her chili at a Monterey Highway Wendy's was, in fact, a human finger. They're not sure whose.

It was about an inch-and-a-half, with a longish, nicely groomed nail.

And while it gave the woman -- Anna Ayala, 39, of Las Vegas -- a bad case of the willies, it likely caused no physical illness, officials said.

That's because the finger was safely cooked, simmering along at 170 degrees with more traditional chili ingredients, such as tomatoes, beef and beans.

About 7:20 p.m. Tuesday, Ayala, in town with her family to drop off her in-laws who live in San Jose, scooped up a mouthful of chili.

It was her first visit to a Wendy's. ``I'm more of a Carl's Jr. person,'' she said Thursday night.

``Suddenly something crunchy was in my mouth,'' she said, ``and I spit it out.''

After much examination, she and her tablemates realized just what the special ingredient was. Then the vomiting commenced.

Police and county health officials were called to the Wendy's, but no one there was missing any digits.

``We had everyone kind of show us they had 10 fingers, and everything was OK there,'' said Ben Gale, director of the county's Department of Environmental Health.

In confirming it was a finger, the county medical examiner also found that it wasn't badly decomposed and had a solid set of fingerprints. Conceivably, officials said, police could lift a print and perhaps match it to a partially fingered person through a database.

For now, officials figure -- since it was a jagged cut -- it may have happened on a meat grinder.

In any case, the county shut the Wendy's for a while and impounded all the remaining chili and all the ingredients used to make it. They hope to track all the fixings to try to find the source of the finger.

Wendy's spokesman Bob Bertini said never in the fast-food chain's 35 years has a body part showed up in the food.

crying
princess on 03.24.05 @ 11:27 AM PST [link]

Tuesday, March 22nd

Insomniac and the Conspiring gods

music: Natalie Imbruglia
mood: sleepily suspicious

The Karma Police are tabulating points and unless I am missing something (for my own good) I have come up a tad short this morning. Could not for the life of me sleep last night. The rain and wind which are often times a lullabye in themselves were disturbing. I kept thinking I heard a leak in my room and I was cold most the night. The matress was no comfort and except for a short bizarre dream involving a strange costume change, I think I may have escaped slumber in near totality. So this morning as I tried to squeeze in a wink or two past my usual alarm I found myself essentially wasting time. Its a silly futile action really, as if 10 more minutes is going to produce a more restful and productive state. And maybe if I ever succeeded it would make the desired impact. But as usual, I failed. I dragged myself out and raced (well, slopped more like it) to the Jeep in my furry yellow coat and the Coordinated couple that we were zoomed to work. What normally takes 20 minutes did not as one might suspect. I took the Freeway and all was good until Curtner. Dodging the raindrops and the retarded drivers I went from Freeway to side road since I was in no mood to sit still. I had proven that didn't work in bed earlier.

I was however stopped at the light on Monterey for a good (what's so good about it) 5 minutes. I watched at the light as a fire truck raced through the intersection and stopped at the corner, fully blocking a lane. A police car soon moved into place next to it. and then I noticed a HUGE 18 wheeler type truck which in fact was not turning right, but stuck. The firemen had their masks on and it would appear that there was a plastic gas container looking object in the road. When the light finally turned the two left lanes had to merge to get past the emergency vehicles and of course the girl next to me was on her phone while trying to merge, not even looking.

Never did figure out what the commotion was, just a delay, the gods conpiring or the Angels flocking to protect me, take your pick. As I made it to work I of course navigated all the usual construction (the lobby is FRIGHTENINGLY not even close to being done, going on month 2 of maze) and when I get to the basement there is a creepy man in the elevator who is inspecting them and two guys fixing a leaky pipe right next to dangerous looking electrical wires in the ceiling. I have to wait (since ther are no stairs now due to construction) for the inspector to finish, and then finally I could go up to the 2nd floor.

Our office is a bit of a dead zone. Ed is focusing in ona billion projects that all are seemingly battling for highest priority, Jeff is out sick, Ron out and drugged from back surgery and Heidi a bit of a zombie recovering from the flu. Me just a bit tired. Looking forward to a good night sleep one of these days. Keeping my eyes open for the signs and hoping I redeem myself for whatever I have done to require such delays and obstacles. The rain makes it all seem a blur today anyway. On a special second Coke ( regular, all sugar, all caffeine, classic coke thank you very much) for the day to ensure I make it though rehearsal tonight. Hope you all are on the plus side of Karma today.

Peace.

princess on 03.22.05 @ 01:23 PM PST [link]

Friday, March 18th

Wouldn't you like to be a pepper too? I think I will pass.

music: Matchbox 20
mood: Anticipatory ( filling my time actively while anticipating move, kinda like procrastinating)

Okay, a bit of a rant here, nothing deep ( I know I promised...any day now I'll have a deep though and time to write it) but the colas are getting out of control. and I do mean OUT OF CONTROL. Not too long ago I saw a commercial for DIET CHERRY VANILLA DR. PEPPER. I'm sorry. To many syllables. You know why Coke is #1? I'll tell you why, 1 syllable. (They were smart and went from coca cola to coke.) Pepsi, 2 syallables. I can order a coke in one breath and if I am REALLY risque', I can order a diet coke...one breath. Diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper is too difficlt (11 for those too lazy to count syllables), especially when I am thursty. AND, not to be picky but dr pepper is supposed to be "cherry" flavored to begin with right? so isn't is redundant to put the Cherry in there. And besides, Dr. pepper is gnarley. If I want cough medicine ( and I don't, thank you very much) I'll go down some of that, at least THAT has alcohol in it. Granted Coke now has vanilla, diet vanilla and are getting fancy with caffiene and sugar contents, Pepsi has Pepsi Edge which is between diet and regular, less sugar but no diet taste. C2 for the low carb fanatics from the coca cola company to which I say, dude, if you are going to have a soda, HAVE a SODA). I look at the soda aisle at the stores now adays and laugh. too many choices and too many sylables. The best things in life I believe are one syllable. Bread, cheese. Wine. Beer. carbs. Sweets. Sex. Just checking to see if you were paying attention. You get my point though. Maybe it's becuase I am a instant gratification kind of girl. Anyway, you have to hand it to them, the pressure to come up with new products each year and create new buzz is certainly a daunting marketing task. Remeber the cola wars, the creative commercials, Michael Jackson getting his hair caught on fire, buying the world a coke... Check out this nostalgic site for jingles as well as some history on the Cola War years. So less is more. that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

princess on 03.18.05 @ 02:13 PM PST [link]

Thursday, March 17th

Charts, making rain, and a Winner

music: None
mood: mischievous

Happy St Paddy's day people. I celebrated by having a late lunch (read: early happy hour) at the Britania Arms 3 blocks away at work. It is with GREAT pleasure that I award the winner of the week ( I know it's been a while) to the Reuben Sandwich I had there. It may have been the Pint of Boddingtons the happy music and the Greenery everywhere that helped but I have NEVER had a sandwich quite that good ( except from a run salesman in Turkey that his mom made; that was pretty smashing as well). the Corn Beef was at least a quarter of an inch thick and TENDER, the zebra rye a nice touch and the kraut ( cabbage really0 was super). A good day to ask for something not on the menu, as they had plenty of goods to make it. There wasn't too much 1,000 dressing which is usually the fault of the beast. Yum. I saved half of it for tomorrow it was so filling. I drank all my beer though. I fenagled a green glowing Cornoa Necklace from the wait staff. They were all wearing them, and my first "joke" was ignored, but when the bill came I asked again, lucky me. Presents good. Funny too that it wasn't a guiness necklace. It was Carona's was of saying, hey we aren't Irish but we are closer to the color green than most of you English stouts. I think Carona was actually calling guiness Stout. I am by the way lobbying for my nephew who is due in 2 months to be called Guiness. Guiness Spurlock...he'll be a rugby player over there in London for sure!

Rainmaker is coming along well. We laugh a LOT and the induendos never cease. Never. It's a crass and raunchy crowd in a good way and if you can believe it, I am usually the one blushing as my jokes are most certainly out done. No boundaries. Highlights of Tuesdays rehearsal included seeingthe publicity shots ( the boys are very photogenic, and I'm not supposed to look good, so that worked out) and an accidental copping of a feel from Starbuck as we tried to block a grab. He apologized to the copped breast and was forgiven. We are keeping an eye on him thoug. ;-) Highlights of last nights rehearsal included an indepth discussion on Lizzies "arc" the "climaxing scenes" the "hickory Stick' and a great though total no sequitor impression of Rocky by our director. It's been a while since I laughed so much without trying to if that makes sense. I'm still wound pretty tight, though today I felt a tad more adventurous and free for some reason. Short skirt and a long boots might have been a factor, or maybe more likely a result. Riding the wave while it lasts.

And finally, hopefully the last entry of "fluff" for a while, I made PIE charts ( mmmmmm...pie) today at work. Taught myself a bunch of new things, made them look real purdy. I was prety excited over the things you can do with charts. I know it doesn't take much. Yes, a little TOO excited. Pictures, colors, fonts, good.

wink
princess on 03.17.05 @ 06:05 PM PST [link]

Wednesday, March 16th

Are they sayingI'm Fat?!

music: None but the hum of my brain.
mood: Sleepy

I might not find the following information quite so amusing if I weren't up at the butt crack of dawn for a 7:30am meeting, but in my state of mind, whatever that might be, I am indeed tickled and simultaneously intrigued by this "discovery" in science....

"The discovery, by an international consortium of scientists, shows that females are far more variable than previously thought and, when it comes to genes, more complex than men. "The X chromosome is definitely the most extraordinary in the human genome in terms of its inheritance pattern, its unique biology ... and in terms of its association with human disease," said Dr Mark Ross, of the Wellcome Trust Sanger Institute in Britain which led the consortium. Chromosomes, which are found in the nucleus of every cell, contain genes that determine the characteristics of an individual. Women have two X chromosomes while men have an X and a Y, which gives them their male features. The research, which is reported in the science journal Nature, shows the Y is an eroded version of the X chromosome with only a few genes. The X chromosome is also bigger than the Y and because females have two copies, one X chromosome is largely switched off or inactivated. But not all of the genes on the silenced chromosome are inactivated, which could explain some of the differences between men and women, according to Laura Carrel, of Penn State College of Medicine in Pennsylvania who also reported her findings in the journal. The X inactivation also varies widely among women. "The effects of these genes from the inactive X chromosome could explain some of the differences between men and women that aren't attributable to sex hormones," she said in a statement. Genetic mutations and diseases such as color blindness, autism and hemophilia that are linked to the X chromosome tend to affect males because they do not have another X to compensate for the faults. The X chromosome is also home to many genes linked to mental retardation and to the largest gene, called DMD, in the human genome. Mutations in DMD cause Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, a disabling and fatal disease in men. "There are a disproportionate number of known diseases mapped to the X chromosome," said Dr David Bentley, of the Wellcome Trust Sanger Institute. "In seeing what goes wrong, we can begin to understand the biological processes of the normal body much better," he added. "

SO: As a variable (read: unstable, fat and retarded, not to mention apparently disesased and lazy/"inactive") female, I can't decide whether I am enraged at the generalizations being made, or bemused that science is trying to explain, what the female speicies knows, but can't make the male gender (who are "mutated" and "faulted" ) understand. When I have more brain power ( read: when I quick my unmotivated second Xchomosome into action) and time I have an interesting theory on evolution that relates to this tangentially. Ultimately I guess I am glad there is "scientific proof" for my behavior. All about Justification. Just what is "normal" anyway and who under estimated the varialble factor of a female. I'll kick their ass. And then I will bake them a cake and snuggle with them. angry, grr shocked hehe smile plain rolls eyes crying cool eh? razz wink
princess on 03.16.05 @ 02:38 PM PST [link]

Monday, March 14th

ups and down...par for the course?

music: Mix CD
mood: nostalgic, trying to keep it together. don't poke...may fall apart.

These Neil Finn Lyrics caught me off guard, kind of like last night did. Apparently I just missed a tour with Bic runga, who I love and saw when she openied for Better Than Eza several years ago in SF. Tears for times gone by, but this sums it up for the day. Furry coat trying to comfort though...sometimes others say it better...

Theres a light overhead
overhead
In the sky overhead
overhead
And Im with you now in body and music and mind
And were silent and still
Everythings so out of control tonight
In a plane thats flying fast
At a speed that makes me cry
Have you left me now
To trouble that wont let me lie
Im awake all the time
You know where I stand
Holding my plastic gun
So turn and run
You cold killers of innocence
Against us theres no defence
Your flash and your wickedness
You cant break our love
Tie my hands behind my back
Put a gag on top of my mouth
But I wont give you up
Till silverwares covered in dust
And my shoes fall apart
And the tumbleweed runs
Over my desert heart
So turn and run
You cold killers of innocence
Against us theres no defence
Your flash and your wickedness
Will surely bring you down again
Somehow we must stay afloat
Wont give in to the undertow
Somethings you will never know
You cant break our love
You can pull us down
But you cant break our love

princess on 03.14.05 @ 04:57 PM PST [link]

Sunday, March 13th

Birthday Girl!

music: New Neuvo Latinas CD
mood: Furry and Yellow...boarderline perky.

Just a Thank you to all the well wishes be them email, phone or in person. I had a lovely time at my party, and and the furry yellow coat made its debut as scheduled (It even had red wine spilled on it, but no worries, just a CHRIStening, but Chris worked magic with salt to get it out). The tiara was sparklie, the beer and wine flowing freely and the laughter plentiful. It was a diverse group age, backgrounds etc but the world proved small and most people had seen or met each other at some point. I failed somehow to provide sufficient women at the party though (sorry boys), and particularly single ones, but hey, we know my relatioship with estorgen, I did try and a few die hard faithfuls made it to represent. I received some great cards and prezzies, and after 4 hours of sleep I only had a very small headache this morning. Only one broken bottle and no party fouls and a great warm night helped to make it stress free. My roommates were SO amazing this morning, and helped clean up. They are inspired to have a party since the house sounded so happy with people last night. And there you have it. Back to deep regularly schedule waxing (philosophical) later this week. Thank you thank you thank you! cool eh?
princess on 03.13.05 @ 02:16 PM PST [link]

Thursday, March 10th

What's in a Shepard's pie

music: Alter Eog Mix
mood: sunny like the weather

The things people say when the weather gets sunny. Today Zanattos was on fire. Not really. But it was alive and kickin as I navigated the still tremendous construction maze that makes getting lunch a full on expedition. Part time coworker Heidi and I jammed down the street to pick up sushi and were surprised to find EVERYone is RARE form. First off, the two gentlemen ( I use this term lightly) stocking beer in the beer aisle looked up as we walked by and said " Did you order my sandwich?" Heidi, at first confused, but then playing along, said, " no, what was it again" to which the man replied " It's a shepards sandwich" Heidi bites. "What's in a shepards sandwich" (Clearly she did not see the warning signs. " A slice of lamb and a slice of you." Are you for real? You did not jsut say that. so want to use that on someone, though I imagine the effect will be slightly less fiting coming from me. It was worth a good laugh though. Moving on to the checkout. I left Heidi alone for 1 minute, to grab a fork for my salad, and I return to find her "being arrested" by a cop. Not really arrested, more like dancing with him. I never did figure out how that all happened but everyone was laughing and having a good time so there you go. A little sun, goes a long way. I'm taking the day off tomorrow doa little R & R and for my mom's birthday. I finally decided, i have time to move next weekend, I will only have tomorrow and Saturday once, so as planned it will all be about me ( and mom) and I'm taking it easy and treating myself well and allowing a little pampering for once. I might even wear glitter and put the jeep top down. razz
princess on 03.10.05 @ 12:30 PM PST [link]

Wednesday, March 9th

The Butt Can

music: Vanessa Carlton
mood: Very Wednesday. My mind is on vacation. Somewhere near the Coast of Peru.

Last night at rehearsal during "break" (read: 1/2 the boys go have a smoke, and Susannah has a chocolate break) I was introduced to the urban legend that is "The Butt Can" (careful how you search for that on the internet, one wrong letter and I'm sure there's a whole new world out there I want very little-to nothing to do with.

So the legend is this super duper "high tech" piece or paito furniture that disposes and "digests" cigarette butts without ever having to be emptied. Now at first I was shocked. I thought cigarette butts were non biodegradible. And so if these little things, microbes, or chemicals, midichlorians (5 points for spelling this right, minus two for having to look it up, plus one for caring enough to spell it right) or leprachauns or whatever the hell they are can eat the butts, why can't they eat cancer or be applied to cancer research or in the very least dumped in the dumps to clean it up quicker. Imagine if there were a "healthy" way for the tabacco companies to market smoking again...woah. Crazy.

SO, this was all a little sci fi for me but it fascinated me, beacuse apparently they had not had to empty this can for 4 or 5 years and I'm wagering there are more than 5 gallons of cigareetes that have been smoked by that theatre in so long a time. So in theory it looked like it worked. And so the reaseach begins. HERE is what I found. Nothing about not having to empty it, or any sort of symbiotic beasties that eat the leftovers. Not that I would necessarily want to encourage it, but instead of pinching off freedoms by disallowing smoking in parks, mostly because of the litter it causes, put these little cans about and I think that's a decent compromise. Not a bad price either. And very mod in their design. you could even make it a public art project and have kids paint lung cancer patient on them to beautify the park. =]The mystery still remains though...how the hell do these things get emptied? Stats show butts take 1-5 years to decompose, and I am assuming these are in prime conditions. Here are the possible theories...I welcome others.. I WILL figure this out.

1: There are in fact top secret highly toxic chemicals in there, that were the general public made aware, certainly the Butt Can Manufacturers would be put out of business ( though I have never seen one of these before, so who knows how much anyone would really notice). But maybe smoking is less dangerous than these chemicals...hmmm....

2: There is a chip in the top portion of the can and when it reaches a certain level it sends a bat signal to some office and a shady looking character sneaks to the can and clandestinely empties it. this could also be the local janitor. Granted Richard has not emptied it, but it is plausible to assume it could have been emptied by someone else. Maybe.

3: The rate at which the cigarettes naturally decompose vs the space in the container is somehow porportionate. This involves math, and you know how I feel about that. I delegate that formula to someone else. Let me know how that all works out.

4: Leprachauns actually smoke the butts/filters. It seems a logical assumption, I can't DISporve it, so I put it in there as a possibilty.

5: There is actaully no bottom to the can. It goes straight to the center of the earth and each butt meets its demise in a firey display of molten core. NICE! I like this. This is my vote.

So The only way we could maybe figure this out is to have a Butt CAM (careful!) mounted inside and out and record it's function. I figure Philip Morris maybe can fund this study as part of their settlements with the courts over that whole smoking is bad for you thing. There have been stupider experiments done and funded. Who's with me!?

Have a Butt Free day people! sleepy razz
princess on 03.09.05 @ 10:53 AM PST [link]

Tuesday, March 8th

A Bar is not a Library, at least not for long

music: Five for Fighting - The Battle for Everything
mood: I love my job...

First Rehearsal for The Rainmaker last night and to my pleasant surprise the fellas that I happened to have a nice coversation with in the office while waiting to read at callbacks were all cast. So as it would seem the cast kind of already gravitated to each other. Jeff, Chuck, Jake, Matt and Kevin with Richard heading the project as director will be my "entertainment" for the next 4 weeks (yes only 4 weeks). There was already a lot of sass and laughter as we spent the first rehearsal basically getting the contracts, bios, schedule, and measurements out of the way. Inside jokes include the lack of being able to cast Jessica Simpson, the film Dark City, and it being all about me. I have no idea what the acting will be like but we seem to be able to handle the fun part of it all and lets face it, that's why we do this for the most part.

So we didn't even do a reading, and got out of rehearsal by 8:30 so I decided in liu of my "home" or a gas station, I would seek out a quietish place to highlight lines, and just kind of relax and avoid having to think about my move (more maybe on this in a bit...stay on target). I decided the only place I know of that resembles a library is the Almaden Lounge, and it doesn't resemble a library at all. But I figure at 8:30 on a wednesday in dive bar it might be quite at least until about 9:30 when kareoke starts. I was wrong. Today the off duty Bar tender was turning I think 34, though I would have put her at more like 25. I had sat down and gotten through about 4 pages when she and her enterage scuttled and sqealed through the door. Drinks all around, grinding and whistling, and the very loud talking ( I heard the word Vagina at least three times come out of someones mouth) the likes of which echoed my college days. Now, granted it's a bar, and stuff like that is bound to occur and in fact encouarged in many cases, it just never ceases to amaze me though the repetition of somethings. It just never ceases to amaze me the repetition of somethings. It just ( just checking to see if you are still reading). Crystal comes in, sings her same song, and here people are doing the same thing over and over. I got through my script, listened for a few minutes to the first singers up, and watch as the place filled up with characters not even I could make up. There was a guy there drinking beer and drinks like water who looked exactly 15 and his "older" friend was certainly no more than 19. They were encouraging the very drunk blonde ( fact not judgement, but you get the picture) to do a mic check by smacking the mic on her ass. She obliged. I would have slapped her if she wouldn't have enjoyed it I think. All very amusing and filled the time to be sure. I'm sure they others were looking at me thinking what the hell, this isn't a library. And it isn't home either, but I may be without that for some time.

My new place has all the amenities I could ever want in a house, with the exception of the feeling that it's home. It's a house. And though I may just be trying not to get my hopes up, I have decided this just may be what is in store for me this year.I was so lucky to have a place that felt like home for so long, and not, perhaps I need to just realize, you can't always get what you want. The house is huge, huge back yard witha creek and a pool and a hot tub and a movie theatre and all sorts of fun stuff. A pool table to come, etc etc and it all just makes me realize, I care so much more about the feel of a place than I do the material things in them. My time unemployed has taught me that. the amount of time I have felt I have had a home has taught me that. And so its a place to put my stuff, and to enjoy some things I will never be able to afford for myself when I have a house of my own, and to share that with some friends. Big and cold and empty, even with the roommates, who though are super nice and so far very interesting, I can't see they are looking to be so very social. No click one way or the other, but then, my radar is off a bit obviously anyway. On the positive note, I have met 9 other new people in the last week from my cast and from looking for a place, and most sound as if they will come to my birthday so maybe that will fill that gap I seem to have in me at present.

The move will be daunting. Longer distance from where I am ( Alum rock Area of San Jose) and up stairs. i have no concept or space in my brain with all that is happening at once to even figure out how I am going to do it. First things first i suppose. Turn 30, then maybe I will have the wearwithall to attack this one. In Greenwood tradition, Easter has been postponed to the following weekend ( tech week for Rainmaiker) so that my Brother can make it up here and celebrate with us. So that gives me a weekend extra to work on that. I sit here blogging with a beer at work, and at least I have a great job. Nothing seems to be wrong, just not quite right yet. I realize this has turned in to a bit of a downer. Not intended. The more I try to make the best sometimes, the not so best comes out. It's a talent I guess. Well, quitting while I am ahead....more or less.

Be excellent to each other.
princess on 03.08.05 @ 06:12 PM PST [link]

Thursday, March 3rd

When it Rains, it Pours

music: Teaching Miss tingle Sound Track
mood: calm anticipation

Other than my mom (cause she has to be first, she does my taxes) and the office (who were present for the phone call) you my public are the first to recieve the good news. I have been offered and accepted the only female role of Lizzie in Northside Theatre Company's production of, The Rainmaker. Katherine Hepburn played her in the movie, Susannah will be playing her on stage April 7-May1st.

So, the Call back went well yesterday. I read twice in two hours, and there were about 7 girls there and a bout a dozen guys up for the 5 male roles. It was a closed audition, so I didn't get to hear how anyone else did but I felt good about what I did. He threw us into the pivitol emotional scene and I was off script by the second time I got to read. The first guy I was paired with was so nice, and did a really good job, I imagine he will be cast as one of the brothers. The second guy I read with recognized me from Dogsitters, his kids had seen it last year and apparently thought it was the best thing ever. while running the scene outside he kept interrupting, which i thoght was funny, yes I look a little different in person than I did in that show.

This will be only my second major dramatic role in my life and my first romantic (though kind of anti romantic too) lead on stage. I have played a romantic equal in real life on a few occasions. Other positives, it will be my second paid acting job ever, it will be all about me, finally, and no estrogen other then my own to deal with, male cast, director and crew. I think I have enough to cover it though. Plus I may have just inherited a moving crew if I ever find a place to live, the clock ticks.

Good prospect of the day, I am seeing a house on Sunday and it has a built in movie theatre with motorized screen and relclining tierd movie seats. Now isn't that just up my alley. Pool and hot tub of course for a water girl and 5 miles from work. All I need is a view and the paper to sign on eh?

So there you go. Let's keep toes and eyes crossed that the positive trends continue...
princess on 03.03.05 @ 04:27 PM PST [link]

Tuesday, March 1st

Mazes, Mishaps and Meetings

music: None
mood: Fair to mild with a chance of storms

Thank you all for your concern and support over the last few days. I'm doing well in spirits I think and the search continues for a home not only for my person but for my party. I wished on a shooting start last night, and things seem to be turining around so who knows....

The GOOD report:

Called called back from my rainmaker audition. Callbacks are tomorrow and I should know if I am cast by Friday. Felt good. Rocked the audtion for a changed and he asked me on the spot to callbacks, so I imagine that's a good thing. Playing it cools so I'm not disappointed though in the event I am a twit.

Going to direct a staged reading on March 18th for the Pear.

Still waiting to hear about City Lights, but haven't been eliminated yet.

THE BAD report:

Early morning meeting in Sunnyvale at 8am, which puts me on the road by no later than 7 to make sure I don't get lost or stuck in traffic. SO of course I decide to see a late showing of Finding Neverland tonight.=] I'm not sure how that works.

Because people like to laugh at others misfortune, my day started out askew when I went to by a bottle of coke a tthe gas station this morning. They were out of the 16oz so I thought, I'll make the liter last 2 days. I quenched my morning thirst and then put it in my much beloved Red Dwarf bag. When I made it through the MAZE of construction to the office ( We now have to walk up the ramp ou tof the parking garage, over to another building, walk down the stairs, cross underneeth the sidewalk to 4 north and then take the elevator up to the 2nd floor to get inside past the lobby redo) I opened my bag to find I had almost none left. hmm I thought, I didnt drink it all did I? No, but my bag was thirsty and my stuff was swimming in almost and entire litter of coke. I SWEAR the top was on. I laughed though becuase my bag is REALLY water tight. I just went to the sink and emptied it out. Took a paper towel and wiped it out. Nothing major in the main compartment ruined. My scripts look antiquated, no books happened to be in there and phone, passport and make up were all in the other pocket which proved impervious to the cola. So I just hope I don't open my back tomorrow to find ANTS everywhere.

I have learned not to drive when I am happy. I often miss turn offs. I was so excited after my audition last night I decided to go visit with my parents to see the fuzzy yellow jacket, drop off my taxes and chat about how much I rock ( kidding) and so I got on280 and then all of a sudden I realized I was on 680 and so I turned back...cut to 40 minutes later I finally show up in palo alto...that's the longest trip from downtown san jose EVER. Oh well.

Movie time...over and out!
princess on 03.01.05 @ 07:25 PM PST [link]

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