08/31/2004: ""

A Stage Managers Nightmare…

So, it’s been a few weeks, but I wanted to share my personal horror story with you about my latest Stage managing gig. Stage managing is hard for a director and actress because no matter how well you are treated, you still have no say in anything. All you do is fix problem. It’s a humbling and important role and though it can be dangerously frustrating for the independent in charge type, every experience is an education, and every experience worth a reminder occasionally. Every now and then you get to be a mini hero though and the following is the condensed and abridged version of a 2 ½ hour ordeal that no one should have to deal with. It comments on many aspects and challenges of the way our world or at least our country is set up least of all the fantasy of customer service…. And we begin….


Thursday 6:15pm…I arrive at the theatre first to set up and start the air conditioning. There is a folded note in between the doors, and I absent mindedly deposit said note in the mailbox. This is not my theatre, not my mail, not my business. I walk into the dark theatre, deposit my bags and flip the light switch. Normally the lights would come on at this time. Not that it usually helps in this situation, but I flick the switch just to make sure it’s not stuck or anything. No such luck. Again, not really thinking it through I go to the dressing room and flick the switch in there. Nada. Okay, I think well there must be a power outage. It’s a hot day, maybe a rolling blackout or something. And then I think, maybe the little note on the door was important. Maybe I should make it my business. A little peak couldn’t hurt right? And so I do.

Dear PG & E customer, your power has been disconnected. Your total overdue bill is $301.54. Your entire bill amount in addition to a reconnection fe of $20 must be paid before your power can be turned back on.

Fascinating.

Now. Being the crafty person I am I think to myself I bet I can resolve this before the producer and consequently the star of the show ever know. Surely this must be a misunderstanding…I call the theatre owner. Message Machine. I leave an urgent but calm message. Then it occurs to me, maybe they are out of town…I haven’t seen them for a week or so…maybe even two weeks. I call another theatre contact at home and then on their cell to check and see if maybe someone knows if I can expect a call back or not. Nothing. Next step…

I call the number on the notice for “customer service” for PG &E.

Customer Service: Function: noun, Definition: assistance and other resources that a company provides to the people who buy or use its products or services.

Remember this definition…it will amuse you greatly later.

Me (Customer) after sifting through the menu tree to get to a real person who can help with my specific issue: Hi my name is Susannah Greenwood and I am the stage manager for a company that is renting the theatre located at **. I’m hoping you can help me. We have a show, 85% sold out, in a little over 90 minutes and it would appear there is an outstanding bill that the owner hasn’t paid. Unfortunately they are out of town and I’m wondering if there is any way since this is an emergency, that we can get the power turned on for just a few hours. We have no way of contacting the theatre patrons to let them know the show is cancelled and as I said the owner is out of town.

Service Agent: Wow, that really tough, unfortunately we can’t turn the power on until the bill is paid.

Me: Well, can I pay the bill.
Agent: Well it’s after 3pm.

Me: Yes. Yes it is.

Agent: Well they can’t turn the power back on until tomorrow.

Me: I understand this may be an exception to the policy but since we are in a real tight jam here is there anyone there that could take my payment now and then come turn the power on.

Agent: No m’am. They have already been there once today, it’s policy not to return to the same place until the next day.

Me: Unless it’s before 3pm when I call?

Agent: right.

Me: uhmmm. Right. How late are you open?

Agent: 8pm.

Me: So, it’s only 6:30 now, isn’t there a chance that there is someone already in the area?

Agent: But they can’t come out until it’s paid.

Me: Can I pay with credit card or ATM?

Agent: Atm or check.

Me: So if I pay by atm card over the phone right now, could we make an exception and have someone already in the area just do me a little favor?

Agent: No, we can’t do that.

Me: Right. Do you think I could talk to a supervisor who might be able to authorize a non policy kind of emergency solution?

Agent: Sure, I’ll put you through. It looks to be a 5 minute hold, is that okay.

Me: If I don’t have a choice, that’s fine.

HOLD…..Cheesy music…holding…beep…look at my phone…call waiting, but I can’t click over…Just then the producer/star shows up with her mother all the way from Kentucky. Well there goes the calm and sneaky approach. I give her the quick synopsis of the situation, he jaw is open, speechless, I reassure her I’ll work something out.

Agent2: Hello.

Me: Blah blah blah, here’s my situation, I was told maybe you could help.

Agent 2: No, sorry.

Me: So that’s it? I’m just stuck.

Agent2: If you pay the bill we can turn it back on for tomorrow.
Me: What time?

Agent2” Between 8am and 8pm.

Me: Does there have to be a person here at the theatre in order for them to turn it back on.

Agent2: It depends or whether they need to get inside or not.

Me: Yes, I suppose it does, now I assume because they didn’t need to get IN to turn it off, they don’t need to get inside yes?

Agent2: Not necessarily.

Me: Right. Is there a supervisor I can talk to maybe there that I can talk to that might be able to help me out.

Agent2: uh yes but she isn’t available.

Me: Not available gone for the day or not available on another line…?

Agent2: Oh she’s here, she’ll definitely be back in the office. I can give you her voice mail.

Me: Fine. Thanks.

So I leave a voice mail message explaining once again the situation and that my cell phone is running out of batteries but to call me ASAP as it was now close to 7pm. Next. Our Light board op arrives and after a brief conversation we decide, no show tonight, let’s try to contact actors and worry about tomorrow. Light board op uses her cell to call actors, we catch only 2, the rest all arrive in the next 5-20 minutes. Producer explains to actors while I decide I will pay the bill and at least get the power on for tomorrow. Oh so much easier said than done.

Me (After surfing a menu tree): Hi I want to pay my bill over the phone.

Agent: If you want to pay with an ATM card you have to call a different number.

Me: Great…and that number would be…

Agent gives me the number. My cell phone dies. I use the light board ops. Dial, surf the menur tree, enter in my ATM blah blah, declined. No explanation. Now I KNOW I have plenty of money. Maybe I entered the wrong number. Start over, dial, surf, enter, nothing. I call the customer service number and ask…what’s going on…they say do you have a star on the back of your ATM card.. I say no. They say That’s why. I need a star. Great thanks. Get Producers card, she has a card with a star. Dial, surf, enter, nothing. Hmmm…call service number again…

Me: Yeah I can’t seem to pay with my ATM star card.

Agent: Is it Bank of America or Wells Fargo.

ME: Yeeeeees.

Agent: That’s why, those two banks won’t let you pay even if you have a star.

Me: Right. Here my situation…blah blah blah…is there anyway I can pay tonight.
Agent: There is a pay station about a mile from you, they are open until 8pm, you can make a payment there with your bill.

Me: Right, I don’t HAVE a bill, all I have is a notice with the account number on it saying the owner who is out of town hasn’t paid the bill. Do you think that will be enough?

Agent: Some places need the bill some don’t, here is their number, you can call them and ask.

Me: Thanks. If not, I’m going to be calling you back, you know that right.

Agent: Silence…..nothing but crickets…

Me: okay thanks…goodbye.

Me (the broken record calling the liquor store explaining again): I need to pay, I don’t have a bill, I have the info though, you are my last hope, please say you will help me…pretty please?

Nice Korean Man: Okay, come down now, we close in 15 minutes. Should be okay.

Light board op and I run to the bat mobile, also known as the happy yellow jeep making a bee line for the liquor store. On the way out of the parking lot we update our illustrious producer of our mission. She is left slightly flabbergasted with her clipboard. She has been explaining very diplomatically to the patrons that due to technical difficulties, the show is cancelled and if they can reschedule for one of the other three remaining performances she will accommodate them and or refund if they can not come. She is still reeling from conversations of how the show might go on. How we could hook up a bunch of flashlights and do it outside, or use headlights from cars, or use the yoga studio next door…we broke her spirit a bit when the light board op and I agreed as nice an creative as that would be, canceling the show would ultimately be better.

Zoom zoom zoom. Screech. Arrive. Light board op is on the phone sifting through the menu trees to get to a live person while we fill out a form and write a check.

LBop to 6th or 7th “service agent” tonight: To ensue service is reconnected do we need to pay the reconnection fee.

Agent: yes $30.
Lbop: $30 or $20 it says $20 on this form here for a Friday reconnect.

Agent: $30. And you need to call back with a receipt number after you have paid.

Lbop: okay. No worries.

8pm on the dot, we pay, we get a receipt, we call back PG &E and give them the receipt number and are told that the power will be turned on by 8pm at the latest but because we called in tonight it should be in the morning sometime. We rush back to the theatre and decide that since no one can just wait by the theatre tomorrow we can leave the door unlocked overnight in case they do have to get inside the building for something.

Producer is informed, and we depart having done more work than we normally do. I am reimbursed immediately upon return of the owner who is ever apologetic, a simple misunderstanding with a very complex consequence. The Producer is given over ½ the rental fee back for the loss in revenue, hassle and for dealing with it diplomatically. Apparently she thought she had paid it and while she was gone they sent 3 notices, but the woman picking up the mail was not opening it while she was gone. My question remains, for her to receive 3 warnings in less than three weeks, how overdue must the bill have been, even if she thought she paid it or didn’t’ send a bill for July? Not sure what the policy is but I imagine he situation could have been avoided. A good reminder though of all the bureaucracy that weighs progress down. It says on the PG & E website that 24 customer service is available. I guess it’s only available to those that pay their bills on time. Still, a good lesson also in team work and endurance, leadership and problem solving. Where there’s a will there’s a way.

And there was much rejoicing.