08/14/2004: "SMACK!"

music: None
mood: Well rested and ready to Party!!

So, a funny story (sort of) to make your day on this sunny weekend (Unless you are in Florida). I headed on over to La Bodeguita del Medio to have a birthday drink with my friends Michael Austin and Kieran Chavez (who works there incidentally). A Beer, Cafe Cubano, and 2 mojitos later, we decide the party is not over and I haven't been out in ages so we get together and head on down to Fred's...a dive bar fully equipped with the Southpark Pinball machine, pool tables, VERY excellent jukebox selection and arcade games. More importantly this place is open on a weeknight until 2am. We took advantage of this late closure and walked in ready to spend the next two hours chilling. Not talking about issues, problems, stalkers, work, just having fun.

I'm setting the jukebox up, dj Susannah reporting for duty when a young man walks over and hands me a dollar and says put some in for me would you. Great, no worries, easy. Hands me another dollar and says make that two. And I do. He asks if he can buy me a drink, and of course I say...no. (What kind of girl do you think I am!!) he introduces himself as Ben or benjamin, and I ask if I may call him Benji. He says sure. We Chat and I am in my cautious yet polite way sending signals of polite disinterest but since the goal was to have fun, I don't let the fact that a drunk man alone in a bar at midnight is hitting on me ruin my night. SO, then he hands me 4 quarters and says we are going to play pool with my friends. I say fine Benji and me against Alex and Michael. And the game begins, only he insists I shoot each turn. I think it odd and make him shoot one turn at least as it is his money and he of course hits two balls in right away. A Drunk shark. yippee. So he says he'll just watch...okay...bit ccreepy but again, this is about letting off steam and having fun....I can't take everyone's ego and mental state into consideration...not tonight.

So, I'm getting ready to shoot and when what sensation shoud I feel but the firm SMACK of a hand on my ass. This was not expected. This was not anticipated, I snap to attention and whip around thinking which one of my friends am I going to have to pummel. And to my utter shock, I discover the hand in question, the criminal smack was the doing of new guy Benji. A total stranger smacked my butt. Without permission. And NO, I didn't enjoy it. I was ammused simply because I just didn't think people did that anymore. Afraid of a sexual harassment suit, or getting shot, or having a jealous boyfriend beat the crap out of them.

My cheek still tingling I looked at him in utter disbelief. I wasn't sure if my reaction was what he was looking for but it was honest. EXCUSE ME!? I said in my most Californian tone. You don't DO THAT! to which he replied, I'm sorry honey I thought you needed that extra motivation. Do I HAVE A SIGN on me suggesting that I would enjoy that??! No Honey, I just had to, sometimes... I stopped him right there. It is one thing to be slapped on the butt joking around with people you know, but this was beyond unacceptable. I did not feel demeaned, I wasn't embarrassed or violated, I think I was offended becuase I just can't believe that ANYONE would think that was okay. So, no more flirting or rather letting him flirt with me. There was only one way to get rid of him. I knew of one sure way to make him run. I told him I was fresh out of a relationship, still living with my former lover and my parents and I wasn't sure what was going to happen since I couldn't afford just yet to move out. He dropped his bottle of bud during our conversation (PARTY FOUL) had to clean it up and then he disappeared.

And there you go. The moral of the story is, even the horniest of men know a bad situation when they see it. No matter how drunk, and how inappropriate they are, there are certain situations that are worth the $4 loss in jukebox money. Run. Run away. Don't look back. Oh and the other moral of the story. It is not okay, in case I was vague in any way, to smack my ass if I don't know you. In fact I'm not sure if it's okay to smack it at all even if I do know you. I'll let you know when I figure that out.

Take care!