07/01/2004: "Living Will"

music: none
mood: not really morbid but resigned that people will think that I am

I often have the feeling that I will not live to be very old. I have a hard time seeing myself live past about 40 and this apparently upsets a lot of people. It's not to say I WILL die young, just that the thought has crossed my mind that it could certainly happen. Maybe it's the memory of past lives, maybe it was the ghost of souls left over in my mothers womb from miscarriages, maybe it's me just not wanting to be caught off guard. Who knows. Control certainly must be part of it. Today as I was driving there were SO very many stupid dangerous drivers I thought, even a 15 minute drive has become a trying experience, a hazard, an obstacle course. How to remain safe and not get angry while dodging those uncertain where they are going, trying not to collide into construction, avoid those on cell phones, those seemingly in a terrible RUSH, and the motorcycles that think they own the road is a test to be sure. It never used to be this bad, but I digress. I would like to have in writing the following which I deam legal unless a dated document appears after this posting saying otherwise....

When I die ( whenever that is)

I would like any cash I have in my wallet to go to Byron at the shell station on winchester and campbell who was very nice and lent me $5 the other night of his own money to get me home when I left my wallet at work, and waited patiently for me to return with his repayment.

I would like to leave my pmp-500 also known as the pimp 500 keyboard to Ron evans, who got way too big a kick out of the name of it and plays it no doubt better than I do.

I would like to leave any make up, jewlery and pink articles of clothing to Summer Reeves....she will make the most use out of them to be sure.

To Jamie Osborne and michael Pease I leave my music collection, I don't imaginne there will be much fighting over it, you both have different tastes...you have my permission to make gifts or sell anything you already have or don't like.

I think it best that my stuffed animals go to Brette, there aren't many, but I imagine you will find a good home for them.

I leave all my paperback books to my Brother Sandy and Sister Rebecca you have probably read them all, but they will be safe with you. You also, have my permission to sell, or donate any you don't wish to keep.

To Laurina, I leave all my craft supplies. There's a lot. Make good use of them.

Erin, my travelling companion, you may have all my sweaters as I imagine you will need them in the places you like best. You can have my coats too, and the large blankets stolen from airlines that keep me warm even in summer.

Kim Kay and EJ can take the scripts and sheet music that you wish. It's not much but it will serve you well I hope.

Kate Webber, I will entrust you with anything I have ever written which means you will no doubt get my laptop, my old mac ( goodluck getting it to boot) and whatever papers I have saved. Edit it, embellish it,make it good, and publish it, help my parents to pay off debt should I still have any =]

Adrienne and Aaron, you are hereby in charge of my DVD's. I got some good ones, and if you plop your kids in front of the TV every now and then, you can have a moment to yourselves.

Lynz, I leave my phone to you....just don't wake your mother and when it rings and no one is at the other end....it's probably me.

Ade, my art. It's it's not as good as the stuff you make but, it's worth a few bucks and some of it is quite interesting.

Andrew Shannon, you may select anything you like really. I had thought to will you my humor, but that's a bit tricky, I think that is one of the things you CAN take with you. I have a tool box I got from a friend, I think it might come in handy as you are trekking about saving the world from disease.

Hasan, you can have the guitar....it's technically not mine, but I have played it...just not very well.

Chris. A crystal pirate ship to sail away on, and my blanket,(mimi) the thing that has known me longest with the possible exception of your soul. You may also have a DNA sample if you think it worthwhile to invest and any cooking harware and supplies I have. Hardback books, any candles you favor and my collection of unsent cards....you might even try writing one every now and then for kicks.

Bear the wonder dog. You may have my futon and yes, it's okay to sleep on it even if I'm not there.

Anu and hubby, in the event I have any savings, I want it to go in a post highschool travel fund for your children. I can't promise much, but I can't think of anyone more deserving than your offspring to be.

To Aquilla, I leave any theatre tickets and/or season subscriptions I might have pending. Enjoy.

Should I have a winning lotto ticket, 90% shall go to my family, and 10% to the nice Indian man at the chevron station on Blossom hill and santa teresa....he always smiles.

Everyone else is encouraged to pick through my belongings in an effort to find a material something that makes the past more tangible.

And now... have a happy and SAFE fourth of JULY.