Vince Jones

About time I got this up: HAPPY EASTER!
---

Went down to my favourite dive last night;
The Brass Monkey in Cronulla
to catch the legend that is Vince Jones.

I was relishing this gig because The Monkey is a tiny room
and that intimacy would be perfect.

Waal… we weren't disappointed!

Intimacy: the joint was packed
and set up for dinner & show.
(somehow, I got my favourite perch at the bar, just to stage left)
I eventually negociated some elbow room
but I gotta say, I don't like eating
while I'm trying to enjoy music.

Mid-mezza {sic}, four be-suited guys stroll on stage.
(but no ties; what is this - rock?)


much more SALVATION below



lerevdr on Thu 24-Mar-2005 @ 11:29 e.s.t [Click here for more SALVATION]
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 Sharing

This morning I went downtown;
returned my library books
and dropped in to see the
Ponytown Home Gardeners' Club Inc.
Autumn 2005 Flower Show.

I entertained no expectations
and was prepared for the worst.

I was greeted at the entrance to the hall by Scouts
which is always a good sign!

There were four rectangular trestle tables
in the centre of the hall, and two more against the wall;
covered with white cloths
with half a dozen exhibits on each side.

There were several sections:

miniatures
"Japanese style" (flowers in a water setting)
dahlias (many, many kinds!)
hanging baskets
arrangements in boxes
arrangements in bowls
"normal" arrangements
cactii
vegetables
and three bonsai.

more SALVATION below

lerevdr on Wed 23-Mar-2005 @ 09:05 e.s.t [Click here for more SALVATION]
[4 Comments]

 Debra Messing's Nose

Apropos yesterday's post:

it seems that I am not the only pilgrim
fascinated by Debra Messing's nose.

Googling™ (for 'tis a verb) that phrase
returns 268 hits,
using quote marks
returns only 132.

These trawls reveal some interesting facts;

such that she's no Hitler,
that she's never had her nose fixed,
she somewhat resembles a praying mantis

and that Grace Adler is less lovable than Monica Geller (see above).

Sadly, Googling™ "Debra Messing's nose + SALVATION"
returns zero hits, quotes or no.

Our appreciation of "Debra Messing's huge and amazingly shaped nose"
goes unrecognised. . .


The Good News is that:

the Cosabella Soiré Thong ($28) could be your salvation. Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow and Winona Ryder all favour it as it's comfortable and low-slung enough to be worn with your favourite hipster pants.


If 'Nonie wears one, we endorse it most heartily!

(read the rest of this for a head-shaking, heart-wrenching, tear-inducing LAUGH!)


PS Debra (& variants) means "bee"; is that funny?


lerevdr on Fri 18-Mar-2005 @ 10:51 e.s.t [permalink]
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 Clearing the Decks

It is becoming evident
to me, at least
that I'm getting a few things done,
crossing things off my list,
clearing the decks,
roll on the metaphors
for having some time on my hands;

I am starting to notice things again.

1. One of Oz's largest car manufacturers (foreign-owned, of course)
is taking out prime-time tv ads
to point out that this country
is full of hopeless drunkards.

I am astounded!

'Twould've been SO much better
had Mitsubishi placed the ad!


2. Even though I have seen Debra Messing's nose

I am a big fan of Will & Grace.

My favourite is, naturally, Karen - an exemplary hedoniste

and, possibly, Hunter S Thompson's mom.

These days, however,
I have a whole load mo respect & admiration for her

AND Kathleen Hanna

since I saw the clip for TKO.

lerevdr on Thu 17-Mar-2005 @ 11:14 e.s.t [permalink]
[14 Comments]

 Why We Celebrate Bastille Day in Oz

lifted directly from Open Brackets:

Which leads nicely into one of my favourite things about the French: because of their endless passion for debate and self-examination, there's probably nothing you can say about them that they haven't already said themselves. And, should you come up with a new salient point, you'll probably get invited onto one of the slew of talk shows to sip wine while sprawled on a couch, sparing off with a band of the country’s professional intellectuals.

Now, should you think, oh, yawn, here's a little something that happened on a much fluffier show not long ago.

It's a nightly talk show where a sort of random group of guests – actors, singers, writers and politicians with something to peddle – sit perched round a large bar-height table to babble about things important and really not. One of the guests on this show was Djamel Debbouze (an increasingly ubiquitous personality here, and known to most as the one-armed grocery clerk in Amélie Poulain). When the host announces that the next guest is Kylie Minogue, Djamel says that he speaks English, so can act as interpreter.

Now Kylie's come out and settled in her stool, and the grinning host oozes the usual bland question about her latest album, then Djamel turns to K to provide the translation.

"Kylie," he says, "I want to fuck you." Three seconds of absolute silence, then the audience goes wild. Kylie sits there in close-up for a small eternity, just staring, mouth open and tears welling up in her eyes. Then she lunges from her stool and runs off stage (at Olympic speed!), oh-ohing! and weeping.

Now the guests are all laughing their faces off as the very flappable host begins to berate Djamel, and plead with him to apologise. Things are getting out of control. Finally, Djamel says, okay, okay, bring her out. But she won't come out; she's sitting in the greenroom waiting for an apology. So close-up now on a remorseful Djamel who peers into the camera and says, "Kylie… Kylie, I'm sorry. I want to fuck you."

lerevdr on Wed 16-Mar-2005 @ 12:51 e.s.t [permalink]
[2 Comments]

 Me & Patagonia

Sunday was one of God's Glorious Days!
it's more Summer than I recall Summer being;
& since it's now officially Autumn
is this an Indian Summer?

So I went for a walk.

I've live here for almost four years and,
for the first time,
headed out with the intention of exploring the National Park across the highway.

I found the closest entry
(fifty metres from The Evil Arches)
and decided to skirt the boundary
rather than walk along the railway line as I initially planned.

In this manner I was never far from civilisation
but there was nothing but Nature between me & Patagonia!

I walked the entire length of the firebreak that separates The Bush Proper from Cathyville East,
envied the people living in that tiny pocket of Heaven,
& found entrances to "official" trails.

There's a lotta joi to be had in the bush;
lots of things to see,
and, in all that quiet,
lots of thoughts to be thought;

I emerged at the southernmost boundary of Cathyville East
(excepting the sports ground a hundred metres down the track)
and walked parallel to the railway, parallel to the highway,
past the evil arches, through the park,
and got back to The Rectory over two hours later.

I was heartily please with myself
and enjoyed the rest of the day.

On Monday I found out

I was sunburnt. . .


lerevdr on Wed 16-Mar-2005 @ 08:51 e.s.t [permalink]
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 Show Me You Care!

As every good Parishioner is aware,
February 14 is St. Valentines Day.

in the Western whirl,
the boys give chocolates to the girls.


In The Land of the Chrysanthemum Throne, however,
the girls give chocolates to the boys.

Thus March 14 is White Day
when the boys give chocolates to the girls.

In a completely different whirl, however,
it is S&BJ Day.

lerevdr on Tue 15-Mar-2005 @ 12:37 e.s.t [permalink]
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 Roundup 9-3-5

Ever wondered which is "the cruellest and most vicious fur"?

"Look at them... God made every one different..." remarks some flight attendant.

Our tribute is here:

And just to demonstrate that there is fun to be had in the comment box, we added something here:

Now, anyone know where I can rent me a whippin' mule?

lerevdr on Wed 09-Mar-2005 @ 17:22 e.s.t [permalink]
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 The Best Parson

Here in Ponytown
we try not to let

THE INCESSANT FUCKING STUPIDITY OF HUMANITY

drag us down
for too long.

I am mightily inspired
by Brother Tann

& try to be
The Best Parson I Can Be™

To this end,
I went to the gym on Sunday
& it felt great!

After much argument,

(and I mean much - I debated at work, at every turn and, a couple of hundred metres from the gym, I passed a whole pile {for that is the collective noun} of playing grounds & wondered why I was paying to run on a treadmill in a crowded room instead of 'round an oval 'neath the beautiful blue summer sky…)

we returned tonight
& it wasn't as crowded & shitty as it could've been
& I got a bit of running done

but

I truly felt like a hero
standing in the street
smiling up at the sky
those hundreds & hundreds of STARS!
8:30 on a beautiful summer night

even though I left my shirt at the gym…


lerevdr on Tue 08-Mar-2005 @ 16:56 e.s.t [permalink]
[One Lonely Comment]

 Reminder

TEMPTED TO MAKE MY FIRST ALL-CAPS POST

NO MATTER

how polite
how innocuous
you are,


NO MATTER

how nice
you are to people


NO MATTER

how you have helped them in the past



THEY WILL FUCK YOU OVER

at their earliest possible convenience


lerevdr on Mon 07-Mar-2005 @ 15:24 e.s.t [permalink]
[3 Comments]

 Transitory versus Aeternal

Left work early this afternoon;
restless,
unable to concentrate,

felt I'd be more productive
back at The Rectory.

Picked up The System of the World
& came across a bloke called Peter Hoxton, aka "Saturn," who states:

"I grew weary of transitory knowledge, and decided to seek knowledge of a more eternal nature."

He goes on:

"Now philosophy is the study of wisdom - truths aeternal. Yet, not long ago you went over the sea, didn't you, to set up an Institute of Technologickal Arts. And here you are back in London, aren't you, on some similar errand. Why, Doctor? You had the life I dream of: to sit on your arse and read of truths aeternal. And yet I cannot make my way through a chapter of Plato without glancing up to see you sprawled against my shop-window like an enormous spate of bird-shite. Why turn away from the study of truths aeternal, to traffick in transitory knowledge?"

That's what I wanna do!

more below


lerevdr on Thu 03-Mar-2005 @ 16:10 e.s.t [Click here for more SALVATION]
[4 Comments]

 Cafe Abruti

Just having a little fun playing with our translator.

"asshole" translates into French as "abruti"

We checked;

and found Cafe Abruti in Pasadena!

and this from Confusion Road:

"We carefully examined the feces of thousands of people on every continent," says Dr. Francois Abruti, who was in charge of the study.

"abruti" also seems to be
the past participle of "abrutir"

Ain't linguistics the funnest?


lerevdr on Tue 01-Mar-2005 @ 17:06 e.s.t [permalink]
[5 Comments]

 Asshole

We have wanted to blog this for some time:

27 January 2005 | Asshole
K and I have fallen under the spell of the Myers-Briggs Personality inventory. She’s a ENFP; I’m an INTJ. According to the literature, these two types are ideal romantic partners—it has something to do with how my dominant function compliments her dominant function. (That sounds kind of hot, right?)

I’ve learned some interesting things about INTJs. We’re the rarest of the sixteen types (less than 1% of the population), the most self-confident and independent, the least likely to believe in a higher power, and the least likely to deal with stress by watching TV. Collectively we have the highest GPA. We’re known as the “free-thinkers” or “masterminds.” Frederick Nietzsche was an INTJ, as were Augustus Caesar and Ayn Rand.

Sadly, we’re also a bunch of assholes. Consider the following passages lifted from the literature (I’ve simply replaced every instance of INTJ with ASSHOLE):

go see the original post!


lerevdr on Tue 01-Mar-2005 @ 10:53 e.s.t [permalink]
[2 Comments]